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Waiting some more

Written on 22/11/2009 15:45:16 by

Kimmysmee

August
More bloody smug pregnant people, complaining about their morning sickness and how tired they are that they were in bed by 8pm. I feel sick and tired and have no little Jones to show for it at the end of the journey.

As you can imagine by the grumpy tone, still nothing this month. This time, there basically just wasn_t an egg, I have been poked full of holes taking blood for practically every test there is and this month there wasn_t even an egg, progesterone or something called a Luteinizing hormone which shows whether I was producing my half of the baby making ingredients. Oh, enough pain to drive me to A & E in the middle of the night and have them poke, prod, test, and pronounce it as _ovulation pain__ well, you know what, no egg, no ovulation, even I know that_.. Crying doesn_t help, but journaling and excel spreadsheets do so I have made one of my OCD lists with dates and symptoms of when I have tests, what they mean and what the next steps are. It is one of the few things stopping me from googling _ _where the bloody hell are my eggs_ and reading all the posts from the desperate and hopeless plus some confusing medical assistance from Wikipedia_ Anovulatory bleeding and this after I bought myself a seven pack of those ovulation predictor tests for next cycle_.. seven _pee on a stick tests_ with more soon to be disappointing invisible lines.

So we are replacing pregnancy with eating out. When the going gets tough we eat. I can_t sustain the _don_t eat anything contra-indicated_ plan any more. Seven months of trying to be all virtuous is beginning to irritate me, I feel miserable without sushi, rare meat, soft cheese and the odd bottle of beer. I_m going to eat and drink what I like this month until the doctor can produce evidence that there is a viable reason to limit my caffeine intake and swear off oysters, parma ham, wine and banana bread batter.

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