Forum : Forums and Friends

hiya my names jo and my baby is 11 weeks old,you are being to hard on yourself.i put on 3 stone so i no how you feel. i think this is the hardest job a woman has to do is have kids, the men have it easy!i find it very lonely at times and i think you do loose your confidence.i am not very good at giving advise, have you thought about talking to your hv or gp?what im doing every afternoon i get baby in the pram and go out walking, i hate diets and exercise, but im enjoying walking it gets you out and in the fresh air baby sleeps when pushed and im getting exercise.talk to your fella and tell him how you feel he will love you no matter what cos you just gave him the best pressie ever, your baby. the only other thing i would say is get on the phone and talk to ur mum, i no you dont want to worry her but she would want you to talk to her ,thats what mums are there for she would prob give you better advise than anyone because she knows you.dont stress bout work 2 months is ages away.your not useless i bet that little boy of yours doesnt think so when he is smiling back at you,go through some of the other mums advise on the forums i found it good and it made me realise it wasnt just me that feels the way i do every other mum goes through it 2 and im not going mad!!sorry if my advise crap but just wanted you 2 no that your not on ur own feeling like you do,hope you feel better about things soon take care jo x

HI hun, i know how you feel, i still haven't lost my "baby" weight, i felt just like you i felt phiscaly sick at the thought of myself, i couldn't understand how my husband could stand to look at me and felt at one point that i should end if all, if i wasn't here anymore that everyone could get on with there lives better without me. It turned out to be post natal depression, i had a good talk and cry to my doctor and i've been on anti depressants for a few months now and i'm so much better, i almost feel like my old self again, now all i have to do is tackle the weight problem! Please don't worry find someone to talk to a friend, health visitor or your doctor help is out there, grab it with both hands and don't let go!! Take good care of yourself Yor not alone!!!!! xxxxxxx

Hello all, am so glad I have read your comments and realised there are people going through what I am going through. I feel so low most of the time and don't know how i'm going to tackle going back to work. I feel I have lost my confidence and find it so hard to laugh and smile. I also feel that people would be a lot happier if I wasn't around. I just wish I could get myself out of feeling this way as it is so horrible. I'm going to a work party on sat and have nothing to wear and am so nervous. My doctor is useless and at my 6 week check was just rushing me out of the room as she had a waiting room full of people. I had my baby 3 months ago. How long does the baby blues normally last for? Take care Emma xxxxx

hiya emma im jo, i bet your work mates cant wait to see you and found out how baby is doing.let your hair down and have a well deserved break.my baby is 3 month now and im still in my maternity jeans(well they are very comfy!)i just want to get back in my old jeans that i used to wear pre baby.i didnt even see the doc at my 6 week check it was the nurse,is there a nurse where you go maybe get an appointment with her or go and talk with your health visitor.i get down too,here we are adapting to new babies our bodies have been through a big shock of childbirth,hormones all over the show we havnt had a decent nights kip since before we got pregnant,i think it will take time to get back to norm so im not suprised we feel like this!you are not on your own feeling like this but when you say you think people would be happier if you wernt around i bet if your baby could talk they wouldnt think so.go and talk to someone even if its just a friend,take care and have a good night out on sat jo xxxx

Hi Jo, thanks for you lovely comment. You have made me feel a bit better. I'll try and let my hair down Sat!
Take Care Emma xxxx

Hey i've just joined today and wish I had joined months ago... mum baby girl is now 25 weeks and weaning and we are getting along fine, but it is a constant learning curve. Looking back I went through a very dark depressed stage, but at the time I did not realise, was just so wrapped up in feed the baby, get dressed, eat, feed the baby, go out, feed the baby...... etc etc. I realised that I used to see each day as one big mountain to climb and was really tough on myself if the day did not go to plan. The best thing I did was join a baby yoga class and attended a post natal group. You must get out there and meet other mums to chat with... cry to!!! (i did!) and just spend time with. Keep telling yourself every day that you can do it, you are doing a great job and you will get there! Look at each day as a new adventure and really try to enjoy your baby xxxx

yep but youre a brilliant mum go on holiday! know anyone with a timeshare? me n my b/f have just come back from lakes, before i wished i was a smack head like sasha on hollyoaks, thought i was possessed by the devil and hated my partner. i told sure start workers to go back to their shacks. i wanted my old life back where i had no responsibility. the holiday was ace. i took my fat body to gym n swim in the holiday vilage 3 times, we went to a zoo called trotters, visited keswick, carlisle, penrith and saw the beautiful lakes windermere, grasmere, coniston, derwent water and ullswater. amazing. i have a video of a baby lemur and we saw duckilings a red squirrel, bats, owls, a hedgehog, robins, herons without even looking. it was a different world inspiring and puts things into place. we went for some ace drives me and luke and lizzie theres so much parking in little spots to pull into for privacy with a flask. . . your mind will be clear on how u want your life to be when u get back and you will find energy in yourself having time with a dishwasher and ur b/f there all week. i am ok with being at home alone again i only got back today and i am making luke go see his friends i think i mihgt make it outside on my own tomorrow wow. everyone has different emotions after having a baby but all of us deserve a holiday ;) i hope i have helped x x x x x

Hi hun, i also know how you are feeling. I have been suffering with postnatal depression since having my 2nd child who is now 17 months. I have been so low that i have thought about just leaving my children and my husband, which is not something that i would normally have considered! I have had huge support from my hubby and eventually i did go and see my doc. She was amazing and after the first appointment with her i felt much more posative. Not that everything just went away because it was far from that. I have been on tablets and they have helped my hugely. Please go and talk to somone about how you feel because sometimes just talking helps, but dont feel like you have let anyone down if you do go down the route of medication, trust me i wouldnt be here now if it wasnt for me getting the help and medication that i need. Its now over a year later and i am slowly coming off my tablets but i know its not going to be a quick thing. Dont push yourself you have got a new baby who needs his mum no matter how you look, remember if you werent there neither would your baby be. You created that life and that baby will be a part of you forever! Well done on getting this far and well done for taking the first steps towards getting yourself back on track!
Take care love Lindsay xxx

hi have just joined today and saw how sad you were feeling......after my first baby(3 and a half years ago) i was diagnosed with post natal depression. it took a long time for me to come to terms with it. From the start i was in denile and even lied to the health visitor and said i was ok. I felt that i was a bad mother and that everyone around me was coping......but really they were having the same problems as me. I eventually went to the doctor as i started suffering from panic attacks and felt like i was in a big dark hole with no way out. The doctor was really kind and understanding and i was put on anti depressants that were not addictive! once i made the first step it felt like a weight was lifted off my sholders. As for the weight well your little one has no predudice and will love you no matter what you look like.
I gave birth to my second son on new years eve and was monitored throughout the pregancy as it can crop up antinatally but i felt i knew the signs. With the good weather hear i find walking a great help. sometimes i walk for an hour and sometimes half but it seems to have worked. Talk to other parents if you can as this was the best help. I hope you feel ok soon and no matter what you look like you will always be number 1 in your babys eyes.........take care.

Hiya - hope ur feeling bit better - this forum is great! I put on 5.5 stone with my first and got pregnant again within 7 months. Now my second is 9 months I have eventually lost all this weight - they say 9 months on, 9 months off - anyway hope ur ok xx