Forum : Pregnancy

hi!
im 34+4 with my second pregnancy. im being induced at either 37 or 38 weeks.
we tried for this baby and i honestly cudnt be happier i cant wait to meet my little girl and even tho i have had antenatal depression prettymuch the hwole pregnancy i actually feel so much happier the last couple weeks.

the problem im having now is that im beginning to feel terrible that iv not enjoed this pregnancy. i LOVED being pregnant with my first. it wasnt a perfect pregnancy but very close to it. this pregnancy has been so hard and iv had alot to contend with.

iv had hyperemesis since 9/10 weeks. capol tunnnel, restless legs, terrible SPD (which is why im being induced early) and on top of all this iv been told not to have any more children. my hips would never support it and it cud end up not being able to walk after another pregnancy. iv been told this by physios, mws and OBGYNS so im taking it pretty seriously and wev decided if we want more wel adopt. i kind of feel like the choice has been taking away from me tho. i just dont think iv accepted it yet.
this is extremely heart breaking iv always wanted four children. dont get me wrong i feel so blessed to have two beautiful girls (counting bump) i know im luckier than alot of woman. and i know there is always the 1% chance that my SPD just ups and goes one day and i can have ten more kids...not likely tho.

but because of all this iv not enjoyed my pregnancy at all and i honestly cant wait for it to be over. i literally CANT WAIT to be induced im so bloody excited for it all to be over. and i feel like such a cow even just writing this down! i shudnt be thinking like this i shud be enjoying it, or at least trying. iv tried so hard to enjoy this pregnancy but i just cant. especially that its the last time il ever be pregnant. i love havign her inside me and feeling her move and wriggle but my body just feels so worn out and exhausted.

i want to be able to play with my daughter properly again, have a sex life, be able to see my feet and actually have some clothing that fits!

am i just terrible and i shud just suck it up stop moaning and enjoy it? i really do want to enjoy it so badly! :( i dont want to have the baby then end up regretting that i didnt savour every moment.

HELP!!!! im driving myself mad!

hi hun
i can honestly say i didnt enjoy my second pregnancy as much as i did my first. it wasnt that i didnt enjoy it at all, it just wasnt the same - hope that makes sense!
there is a lot more pressure second time round - you already have a child to look after and for me, everything was so much more of an effort. i loved feeling Freya move as well, but i too had restless legs with both my pregnancies and numerous episodes of bleeding with Freya and i can honestly say that i was desperate for her to come out - just pleased she did decide to come early! i should still be pregnant now and i keep thinking how pleased i am that she is now on the outside! i dont think though, that when your baby is born that you will end up regretting that you didnt savour the moments. having two children around is hard work and i am pretty sure you will just be pleased to have her here that you wont think about it.
hang in there, you are so close now. x

thank you its nice to know that u felt the same, or similiar. its really hard when uv already got a child isnt it? maybe im just reading too much into it, which is quite likely i do that with everything!
i am glad im not going to full term i feel horrible for feeling happy but now uv said u feel the same i dont feel like such a cow lol x

everyone i have spoken to have said that their second pregnancy was just less enjoyable than their first - as i've said, already having one child to look after, but also the fact that you dont have same kind of excitement as in "this week the baby measures xxx and has finger nails etc etc" because you have done it before. for me 2nd pregnancy was just a means to an end - it was the baby i wanted, not the pregnancy! whereas pregnancy with olivia was all excitement becuase it was the first time i'd done it.
honestly, dont feel bad. your baby isnt going to be affected in any way because you have had a tough pregnancy.

do u know what uv hit the nail on the head! its the baby i want not the pregnancy omg now uv said that i feel soooooo much better!!! thank you!

glad to hear it! x

Hi Candice, sorry you've been feeling so down it must be awful not only having a tough pregnancy but also knowing this will be your last pregnancy - I didn't know that I'm sorry. My last pregnancy was full of problems too and not enjoyable at all, I was completely stressed, still trying to take care of my elderly aunt, back and forth to the hospital with bleeding, problems with the fibroids growing, then numerous growth scans thinking he was going to be huge, not knowing if he was ok until he was born, having a horrendous 3 day labour ending in emergency section and then following that problems breastfeeding, having to stop at 4 months, then he wouldn't take his milk, he was constantly grumpy until 12 months and to be honest I spent his whole first year wishing it away which I then felt guilty about as I hadn't really enjoyed him being little! But now I have the most wonderful toddler (if still a bit grumpy compared to other children!) and the pregnancy and the terrible first year were all worth it.
I'm sure that when you hold her the last few months will melt away and it will all be worth it too - and the look on your daughters face when she sees her little sister! and as for not being able to have any more, if you can adopt just think how wonderful that will be. We want to adopt or foster in the future but think that my history of depression will cause a problem, so anyone that can do it I think its a wonderful thing - there are so many children who don't have the loving and secure family life that they deserve and you could give them that - how amazing!
But don't feel guilty about being down - better to let your feelings out and admit you are having a cr*ppy time, but it won't last forever :-))xxx

thanks buffy i know ur right its nice to have someone say it! i know its hard thinking its my last pregnancy i keep expecting to just be o with it. and i thought i was ok with it but i think iv actually just not been thinking about it. i know if i was really stubborn i cud just go ahead and have another its not that i cudnt physically have another its just that i have to weigh up whether its more important to have lots of babies i probably wudnt be able to enjoy as much or have less and look after the ones ihave properly. but like i said im so lucky to have these two so i just have to keep thinking that!
ur last pregnancy sounds like terrible hard work! but ur right when i hold her iknow itl all be worth it and im keeping a really positive mind on my labour. hope for the best prepare for the hardest!
i think its made worse coz none of my friends have babies, i realise at 24 im quite a young mum but i wudnt have it any other way. and ur right being able adopt would be amazing.
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