Forum : Pregnancy

hi,well i know i couldnt have breast fed at all,i have had 4 girls and ive a boy on the way and im sorry if it upsets anyone but breastfeeding just disgusts me,not that im bothered if anyone else does it in front of me its just i couldnt do it myself,I hae my breast being large when pregnant and when im not and ofcourse i dont breast feed im only a 34b and i like them that way,im unsure if thats selfsih or not but i fed all my girls on cow n gate and they thrived,they were never ill and they never caught a virus,they are all still very healthy and they range from 9 to 17yrs.I personally think everyone should have their own way and views.my breasts to me are mine,maybe i feel they are more of a sexual thing to me and tahts why i couldnt breast feed as i felt it would be wrong,i cant change the way i feel,i would say do it your way and what is best for you and baby.i know when this baby arrives he will have a bottle like the others which gives also my eldest daughters a turn in feeding him and getting close rather than me hogging him.take care

If your baby isn't happy on breast milk then swap to formula we had to as Hannah just wasn't getting enough and wasn't happy, we even had the breast support worker out a few times and even she said that perhaps now was the time to give up!! so we did and it was the best thing for both of us, she got more milk and i felt less stressed and was no longer in terrible pain every time she fed, so i'd say you got to do what's right for your baby!!!! you've given what anti bodies you can be perservering this long. Good luck hun xxxxxxxx

i totally agree with all of you to be honest, breastfeeding is a personal thing and if you don't feel comfortable doing it then it will never work. i am 14 weeks pregnant and have been trying to decide what to do? i like the idea of breastfeeding when your in the privacy of your own home but i don't think its fair for my male relatives (i have 3 brothers and my partner has a 12 yr old son) to be sat there feeling awkward while i'm feeding, i also think that feeding is a good way for everyone to bond with the baby and i want my partners 2 children to feel involved and bond with the baby from the start and in my eyes bottle feeding is a good way for them to do that. so i have discussed it with my partner and we have decided to try breast feeding for about 2 weeks then go onto bottle feeding with formula but if i don't feel comfortable or happy feeding by breast then then i won't feel guilty about going straight onto bottle

You cant see anything when breastfeeding, and why would your partner/brohers/partners son be sat feeling embarrassed?

Would they feel embarrassed if they picked up The Sun andd caught a glimpse of the page 3 girl?
What about if they went round someones house and witnessed their cat feeding its kittens? Or on a walk with lambs suckling their mother?

Sorry, I realise I'm going off on a tangent there, but I find it very silly that people could get embarrassed about a baby being fed.

I think it's a good idea to at least try to breastfeed, for your baby's sake as much as anything. Make sure you get numbers of local support though (not a HV, but a trained breastfeeding counsellor) to make sure that no matter how long you breastfeed it is a comfortable and enjoyable experiance. Breastfeeding shouldnt hurt, if it does there is something wrong (most likely the latch) and if you get it sorted it won't be painful.

I have to say I disagree with feeding being a good way for other members of the family to bond, there are much better ways, such as bathing the baby (or with baby) skin to skin contact (good for Dad as well as mum), taking the baby for a walk, winding them, changing them, singing to them. Feeding is one very small part of caring for a baby, and the one thing that the woman is designed exclusively to do.

Of course that doesnt mean that thanks to modern technology you can't express milk for your baby, at least that way your partner can feed the baby knowing he's not harming the baby.

Hi, i have got 2days left until the big day - providing we dont go overdue which we probably will as baby seems comfortable where he/she is!
Me and my husband have decided to bottle feed our baby, personal choice but that is ours. While breast feeding is excellent and i credit everyone who can and does do it, we decided that we would bottle feed. Yeah there are other ways for the father and other family members to bond with the baby but sometimes it is nice for the father to have to start the feeding process from the start i.e. actually preparing the feed. I
I dont think its fair on mums and mums to be who bottle feed or are wanting to bottle feed their baby, thats not a wrong decision, its their choice and i also feel that the support isnt there for us mums and mums to be alike. I must say my midwife asked me last week how i was planning to feed my baby and i said bottle and she never rammed it down my throat about breast feeding. She just asked why i decided that and i explained and she said so long as mother and baby get half hour skin to skin contact then thats ok.
But for Phoenix to say in the last paragraph that by expressing milk means your not harming the baby, i think that is a bit extreme. Bottle feeding doesnt harm the baby, me, my brother and sisters were bottle fed and we are all fine and healthy as are all my cousins who were bottle fed. Infact the 5cousins who were breast fed always appear to be ill all the time. Not through cause of breastfeeding but how about giving mums who bottlefeed support and encouragement instead of slating???
Breast may be best but it doesnt always suit everyone. I just get upset and annoyed when people automatically presume that cuz you bottle feed your baby your a bad mum.
Please support us instead of slating us. Again, its personal choice and we dont need nasty comments like the one above. Its down to the individual.
xxx

Hi katielou1982. Just wanted to wish you well with the birth and hope everything goes well for you. xx

hi, i didnt get on with breastfeeding my lo, we did at first and then i expressed as much as i could before it ran out and fed her that via bottle.but on formula she was instantly full, happy and settled on her first bottle so we stuck with that. I know all the benefits of breastfeeding and i wish it had worked for us but it didnt, also i would have gone mad through fatigue if my partner couldnt have helped with feeds in those early days!! At our hospital its as if you're a criminal if you dont kill yourself attempting to breast feed, i think they should advise you but not force it on people. We got no information about bottle feeding other than what i had personally read up on before her birth, they should outline bottle feeding as well as breast at the midwife appointments/ hv visits/hospital I think.
Also people definitely do get embarrassed by seeing breastfeeding, in the hospital my dad and 11 year old brother had to see me doing it and i was really embarrassed, we arent a close family and it was an uncomfortable situation. My girlie is now 10 months old and apart from the cold she has at the minute she is really thriving x x

As for the comments by Phoenix, well I agree with katielou1982 that they are very shallow.
If bottlefeeding your baby is "harming" them then please explain why my little fella is a happy, thriving baby whom the Doctor says is very bright, active and alert for his age @ 7 weeks old.
Just for the record I did try breastfeeding and I did contact the breastfeeding support group who sent an advisor to my home. It was not because I was finding brestfeeding painful or not latching on correctly that I changed to the bottle, it was because both me & my baby were becoming increasingly upset & frustrated by the fact he was not getting enough milk from me to satisfy his hunger.
Please also consider that not all women can breastfeed. I am currently taking medication for epilepsy which I was told would be filtered through to the baby if I breastfed. I was able to reduce my medication so that the levels would be safe for my baby to take but other people cannot reduce their medication dosage and do not want their babies ingesting the drugs they are taking.
The comment about people being embarrassed about seeing a woman feeding her child also has two sides. I personally do not mind seeing a breastfeeding mother in public, but I as an individual would not feel comfortable undoing my bra in a public place. I know that you can breastfeed discreetly, but I have chosen to keep my bosom's for the viewing of myself and my husband. Not all of us would feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of others even if they didn't object.
Being a Mum is tough enough at the best of times and even more so when people like you are constantly critisizing bottlefeeding mums. We love our babies just as much as women who breastfeed, so why not give us a break and praise us for raising and looking after our children instead of focussing on trying to make us feel as if we are doing something wrong.

I was determined to breatfeed my baby. Right through my pregnancy I thought how wonderful it would be to hold your baby so close and provide something so natural for them.
I didn't for a moment think how hard or difficult it would be, or how much pressure would be put on me to do it. I was up til 2am one morning in the hosp with a midwife trying to latch my baby on, both me and baby were in tears and she was huffing and puffing around just making the situation worse.
Eventually I did manage to get the breast thing right and fed her for 7 months (until I returned to work). I really enjoyed doing it for her and felt proud of what I achieved.

That said, I don't disagree with bottle feeding at all. As many of you have said it's personal choice and if that's what your choice is then fair play. There are huge benefits of both - for me breast feeding was free and helped me lose weight (maybe that sounds selfish but to me it was win win. No sterilising, no expensive formula; just boob out and jobs a good 'un) lol.

The point where I get really uspset is how other people reacted to me feeding my baby.
On boxing day I sat on the sofa feeding her with a blanket over me. For 10 minutes my family around me didn't know what was going on until my dad asked if I wanted something to eat. I said I would once i'd finished feeding. My dad and brother then started making "UGH!!" noises and pretending to heave saying how disgusting it was. I left in floods of tears - how can anyone do that? I was trying to do what I thought was best for her and would appricate either support or to be left to get on with what I have to do to provide for my girl.

Also one day when in a resteraunt, sat in a corner with no one around, again blanket over so you couldn't see anything, a woman walked past saying how it was disgusting anyone would do that in public and I ought to be ashamed.
How can something so natural be so frowned upon?

People's attitudes really get me down. Why can't we all live and let live? Breast or bottle, do what you have to do to feed your baby.

i have just re-read Phoenix's post above, and i noticed what you wrote (and i quote) "Of course that doesnt mean that thanks to modern technology you can't express milk for your baby, at least that way your partner can feed the baby knowing he's not harming the baby." which suggests bottle feeding HARMS your baby??? can i just ask what is your problem?? with all due respect, that is a load of rubbish and you should not be writing such things. Are you a doctor, midwife, health visitor or laboratory technician who has tested baby formula and found it to be harmful? i doubt it, and your comment is unacceptable and incorrect