Forum : Mums

Hi, I feel exactly the same. I have a little girl who is 4 and am on maternity leave as I have a little boy who is 7 months. I'm due back to work full time end of January. I went back to work full time after having my daughter and felt really bad about it and ashamed when i told people as i thought they would judge me. I have to work full time as i'm the main income earner but also do enjoy work and would never want to give it up all together. Part time would have been the ideal solution. To be honest, it wasn't anyway near as bad as I thought it would be. I obviously missed my daughter but just made sure that the precious time I was spending with her I was doing quality things to make the most of our time. I think having a daughter it is really positive for her to have a hard working relatively successful mother as a role model for later in life. I obviously miss out on a lot but she has done really well going to nursery and is a confident clever little girl (i'm perhaps a bit bias though!). I'm dreading leaving my little man as he is a right mummy's boy so it will probably be even more of a wrench (I keep imagining him sobbing crawling after me!) but needs must so I'll just make the most of it. I sometimes feel like a terrible mother for having to work but I recon most people feel guilty about one thing or another at some point. One thing that did make me feel better was a piece of research on the news about working mums which found that the best adjusted children emotionally were those who had both parents in work I wasn't expecting that to be the result as research normally moans about terrible working mothers!

it is totally normal to feel like that.
i went back to work when my daughter was just under 11 months old. i went back 2 days a week. it was hard in the beginning, i felt bad for leaving her but very truthfully it had done us both good. i loved having the adult company again and a bit of financial independence from my other half. our daughter (although she cried when i dropped her off) she loved being at nursery and settled within a few minutes of me leaving her - i used to stand at the door just to see how quick she settled and i was amazed that it was quick! i found that we appreciated our time together much more because we had that time apart. as i say it is hard in the beginning and it can take months before you and your child settle into it, but make the most of it and be positive about it as if you arent you both end up feeling terrible and dreading your working days. it was december 2008 when i went back and i started getting myself worked up about it in the september!
our daughter will 4 in january (and going to school next september) and i am coming up to 36 weeks pregnant with our second baby and my daughter no longer goes to nursery (she was there for 3 yrs and only stopped going 2 weeks ago) but she does go to pre-school. i am very lucky that my partner is able to support us so i am giving up work altogether after maternity leave (due to end next october) and becoming a stay at home mum as any money i do earn will be eaten up in childcare for baby no 2 and for me to travel to work so for each working day i will actually end spending more than i am earning! i too had seen the piece of research that beckos referred to about children being well adjusted if parents work. i believe it gives children a good understanding of money etc if parents work and once this baby is older and in school full time i will be going back to work for as many hours as i can.