Forum : Mums

hi iggy
My name is sarah. When my daughter was 4 month old ( she is now 20 months) me and my husband also found ourselves in your situation where i had to return to work due to the money. i went through all the emotions from feeling guilty about leaving her to being upset incase i missed out on one of her first i.e rolling herself over.
my first day back was hard and to be honest for about the first few weeks i would have to go to the toilets for a cry but it does get easier.
as for reducing your working hours you have the law on your side. every parent is entiltled to request a change in their working pattern and your employer has to have a very good reason to refuse your request. i requested this and my employer changed my hours to suit my childcare needs.sure your health visitor will be able to help with this matter.
I hope you settled into work well
p.s if your baby achieves any of their first while in your parents care ask them not to inform you so that you dont feel like you have missed something x

Thanks for your advice. I especially like the suggestion about my parents not telling me if i miss anything x :-)

Iggy - I've been back at work since end March. I was off work from May 07 when I was signed off sick a month before my maternity leave began. Zoe was 7 months old when I went back to work. Unfortunately I had to find a childminder but she's a friend of the family so it wasn't too bad leaving Zoe with her. I thought I'd be really upset at leaving her but, luckily, I didn't find it as hard as I thought and it didn't seem to bother her. She's with the childminder 3 days a week as I only work 4 days. She gets to spend a Wed with me and a Fri with her daddy as he doesn't work then. Work were going to be difficult with me returning on reduced hours but the person who was covering my maternity leave only worked 4 days so they gave me that option. If I could have afforded it I would have only gone back 3 days but it's not worth it money wise. I also worry about missing out on "firsts" but I cherish the time we get together.

Hi, my little girl was 9 months old when i returned to full time teaching. i applied for a reduction in my hours but it was handled very badly and refused. i remember dreading it too and going through the guilt and resentment of having to leave her. She has a mixture of childminder, grandparents and my husband - it's not ideal but she has continued to flourish and is very sociable and easy going because of this. The first few days and weeks are really hard, and you're bound to have the odd day even a year on when it gets to you but you do get used to it trust me. Just think about the day when your little one runs to the door as your key turns shouting 'mummy, mummy' and greets you with hugs and kisses - there's nothing in the world like it and if yours is anything like my little one, she waited till she was with mummy to show off all her firsts!!
Good luck, take plenty of tissues and relish the time you have together even if it isn't as much as you would want it to be - your little one will still love you unconditionally. xx