Forum : Mums

i just typed a huge vent of my frustration which was quite lenghty and the flipping site had an error and now i have to do it all again, so lets see if i can now post on my post lol

hi all,

i dont know if me doing this is even going to help but i just want to stamp and sream or lock myself in the cupboard and cry my kids who i love very much are driving me mad.
so after reading this if you have any ideas please let me know.

Paige (4months) is teething really bad and has been for about 3 weeks, there isnt a lot i can do for her as i wont give calpol too foten and she doesnt like her teethers or the gel etc. she is demand fed during the day as she sleeps through the night, so most of the day fgor one reason or another she is grissley, she also had jabs yesterday which has sent her a bit off colour.

Riley (4 tomorrow) has recently decided he is going to do absolutly nothing he is told. he wont eat his meals properly, he woint go to bed when he is told, he wont help with anything its all me me me me, thats all he does all day i want i want i want. but god forbid i say no, (which i am having to do alot of) he screams the house down.

Abi (nrly 9) wont do her homework, or her chores and has decided she enjoys winding riley up and provocking him.

each individually i can tolerate especially paige bless her, but put it all togehter and i just want to scream.

i am really lonely at the min as hubby works long days and i have no firends, or i do but never c them or hear from them as they dont have kids. we seem to be a million miles apart even though they only live few miles away.

so i spend most if not all days on my own with the kids, i go to my mums to get some support with them when she isnt at work but its getting worse.
today riley was want want want and poor paige isnt herself because of the jabs, my brother then decided to put his ore in and hit my son. ( i dont get on with my brother but thats another story for another day)
so i just grabbed the kids and came home but i just want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Claire, sending you a big hug from me and maxey xxx
We all have days like this only difference is mine is only with one nightmare child so I can't imagine what its like with three! If Paige is off colour with the jabs and the teething I'd give her some calpol, its not like you're giving it all the time but if she's not feeling well then I'd do it. I've given max calpol and nurofen today as he's full of cold and really grumpy and clingy and was crying in his sleep a bit, think he's teething too. Have you tried the teething powders? They are homeopathic so you don't have to worry as much about giving them and you can give up to 6 in a day, I use nelsons teetha ones. I used to use bonjela but switched to dentinox teething gel as its a bit thicker and seemed to stay on the gums a bit better. Max didn't like his teethers either, he wouldn't have them at all if they'd been in the fridge but he liked to bite on other hard toys, he was a bit older though didn't get his first teeth till he was 10 months.
Have you tried reward charts with stickers or stars for Riley? He's the right age for them now and they can work really well - you can pick what you want to put on it yourself so things like brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating meals, going to bed nicely and then a treat at the end of the week. Also try to make things as fun as you can - so brushing teeth do them with him and have a competition for whos are the cleanest at the end of it, make getting dressed a race etc. And where possible give him a choice to avoid tantrums from starting in the first place - so two choices of outfits, two choices of snacks etc so he feels like he's getting what he wants but is still having what you want. And try to get him to be your little helper - my daughter loved doing that, whatever I was doing in the house she would help me with and I would go really overboard with the praise and tell her what a good girl she was and that I couldn't manage without her - kids like to be needed! For bad behaviour I would use the naughty step, but whatever discipline you use make sure you stick to it and get daddy to follow through with the same methods when he's at home or you'll be fighting a losing battle.
With Abi I know she's having a tough time but I would do the same - reward charts, lots of praise and get her to help as much as possible, naughty step for bad behaviour. Homework can go on the reward chart too.
Its really really hard I know, my hubby works 12 hour days and I just can't imagine being on my own all day with 2 little ones, maybe on the find a friend thing there might be some nice mums near you? I know that todder groups aren't really our thing but maybe its worth another try when paige is a little older. Its very lonely when you don't have friends nearby, and can be very isolating.
Gosh don't know what happened with your brother but I think I'd have hit him back!
If you want to have a good cry then go ahead, it might even help.
Do you get any time to yourself when hubby is off work? And do you get any time out together at all? In an ideal world we'd have individual time with each kid, time on our own and time with partner but there aren't enough hours in the day are there realistically. But try to get a break when you can.
And just think, today has been horrendous but tomorrow will be better!!! And if not you can come on here and have a good old moan.
If it helps my hubby is REALLY doing my head in at the moment and I think I may just commit murder.........AAGGHHHHHHH!!!!
Get some choccy and put your feet up when the kids are in bed xxxx

Ooh another essay sorry!

sharon thank you so much, that has really helped. i will try the charts with riley, i think what huirts so much is riley was perfect in every way until recently. its not paige as he loves her to bits, but he helped, had manners everything, so will give rewards a go.
my brother is 16 so he is a lost cause lol.
i think abi knows better and she has seen how upset i am this afternoon so she has helped alot with tea, so hopefully she now knows it has to stop and i know with paige its only a phase, riley was about 10 months with his first tooth so to me this is so early.

i wont let me post either!!!!!!! very frustrating been trying since last night!!!

There might not be a particular reason for his behaviour, it sounds pretty normal for a 3/4 year old boy lol, testing the boundaries and how far he can push mummy!
Ah maybe you should use the naughty step for your brother too lol!
Oh thats good that abi was helping you, that's really sweet bless her.
ell I hope that paige's teeth come through quicker than max's he was grumbling from 5 months with them. He's still grumbling with them now and he's 16 months and only got 4 teeth so we're probably gonna get loads altogether I think!
Hubby is STILL doing my head in so sent him to toys r us to pick up a birthday pressie for his niece lol :-)))xx

im so sorry i forgot to ask what ur hubby had been doing, is he behaving now lol?

Hi Claire are you having a better day xx
Oh he is just really getting on my nerves! He's been really condescending lately and talking to me like I'm stupid, when he's at work I really miss him but when he's at home he does my head in! I love him but he drives me mad lol! :-)))

hi sweetiemummy - not sure why its happening but glad it isnt just me.
Hi sharon- its lil monkeys birthday today so hes a bit better, likes the attention and presents. i know how you feel with hubby mine is like that sometimes and doesnt even know he is doing it.
but we would hate it if they changed long term lol xxx men!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Claire - Happy Birthday Riley!!!!! xxxx
Aww glad you've had a nice day!
I have too - met a friend in town and did shopping (and wine!!!) for first time in 16 months it was so nice to relax properly! Then came home and hubby doing my head in within 5 mins so have sent him to shop for milk lol. Gonna have to sort him out I think! Hmmm not sure if I would hate it if he changed long term! He's getting more and more grumpy, argumentative, picky and condescending every day. Or I'm getting less patient and laid back, one of the two! Might have to have a moan about it if it carries on! Any advice welcome...... lol :-))xx