Forum : Mums

thats right bad, i know they have to follow things up, but you cant force a child to do something they dont want to, im very shy if someone tried making me interact with a big group of people id be so scared, i think its down to your childs mum to say if there is a problem, my little cousin was like this, he's 11 now and he plays out all the time, he's at the age where he wants to play, olivia might just enjoy watching and as you say painting and drawing have they not thought of that. does she interact with you there? id just let them do what they want to do, but im sure if it was dylan they did it to, id feel the same, so sorry cant say what i would do (not been there yet)
i never did a birth plan never knew i had to do one til i was in labour and midwifes said where is it but it wouldn't have gone to plan anyway, cant believe you dont have long left, when i joined this site you was only around 14 weeks gone, its flown by! x

thanks amy. i dont stay with her at pre-school - all the kids go and the parents leave as it is effectively school. i am currently arranging with the manager that i will stay for one of her sessions after half term and see if that makes her feel more secure and see if it makes any difference. i do fully appreciate they are only looking out for her - they want her to be more comfortable and have some friends before starting school in sept, i appreciate that, but she is just never going to be one for running around and shouting (well, except for at home!) but i just wish i knew how to help her try to be a little bit more confident when she is there - then i think, why are we worried, she's only 3! she is just like her dad and enjoys her own company and getting on with little games and things. me and her have played together all morning. she is now outside and i'm supposed to be doing a bit of tidying up while she is out and then i was planning on doing a little teddy bear's picnic with her this afternoon!

my delivery with liv didnt exactly go to plan either! labour went to plan - ie as pain relief free as possible, stay at home as long as possible, pain relief being relaxation techniques, tens but i certainly didnt order ending up in theatre for forceps!

it really has flown by! we had our new wood burning stove fitted on tuesday and i have got a picture in my mind of christmas eve being the four of us all cuddled round the fire with the tree lights and a christmas movie! cant wait!

it might help you being there if they let you, but every child is different and not all are loud around friends and like to run about playing whatever games they do, she sounds like a lovely quiet girl who will one day start playing, bless her
sounds like you have a fun afternoon planned, enjoy! :)vim sat nursing me and dylan, think we both have a stomach bug we have not eaten this morning we feel rubbish, so having a blanket and film day
that sounds like bliss, bet it looks lovely, my mum has one of them and i want one when i buy a house, they are so cozy, will be a lovely Christmas for you this year im looking forward to it i managed to book it off work, so ill get to celebrate dylans 1st christmas, i was working all day until 10pm in a couple of years you will have 2 exited little girls bouncing on your bed at 4am lol xx

she's watching a bit of toy story now but i'll be turning it off soon so we can play some more!
oh dear, i hope you both feel better soon.
that's good that you've got christmas off - enjoy it! i loved olivia's first christmas - she was 11 months old so it was a lot of fun!
well, actually there'll be 3 excited girls - olivia, baby and ME! i love christmas! i'd put my tree up now if i could! i finished buying olivia's christmas presents yesterday so it has put me in a christmassy mood - think i need to calm down a bit though as that is still 2 months away! mind, i might just be using it as a distraction for the fact that i only have 6 days left in my 20s!

yes dylan will be nearly 11 months old
i love christmas too, will be weird this year though james has no family left now so will only be visiting mine but we have dylan now which makes it 10 times better, ive already got my decorations out from my mums just waiting now to put them up! ive done no shopping though im not spending lots this year so im picking carefully (letting family get big presents) happy birthday for then, ill wish it you now just incase im not on here as ill be at work you doing anything for it? x

i've only done my shopping early this time round because of the baby being due - normally i leave shopping to the last minute! adam has set me on a strict budget this year as we'll have two children to buy for - although we are only going to put money in the baby's account - didnt see the point in going crazy buying stuff for her as i genuinely dont need anything plus i know the family will buy!
olivia is into sylvanian families but each item is quite expensive so i have bought the odd bit and my mum has bought a couple of bits, but her main present is coming from my parents this year - they are buying her a slide! we have just bought her bits for her sylvanian families, a hungry hippos game, some more lego and a couple of creative art set things and a gruffalo book!

thanks! i'm not doing anything in particular. we went out for a meal a couple of weeks ago plus i am so big that i am just uncomfortable now and get tired so early in the evening. i've got a midwife appointment on my birthday so my mum is going to have olivia for me while i go to that (much easier to go to my appointments in peace as olivia likes to join in and take my blood pressure etc which the midwife takes in good humour but it is a pain when we are trying to discuss serious things!) and then mum is doing me a meal with the rest of the family, so nothing particularly special but still nice!

Hi Shelly have you spoken to adam about it yet or isn't he back from work yet. I think if you are uncomfortable about them trying to 'bring her out of her shell' then tell them that you are happy with how things are. Does she look forward to going or at least say she's enjoyed herself when she's been there?
Like I told you about jessica, despite going to nursery part time for 2 years before starting school she was always shy and found it hard to mingle, but as she got older she did develop one or two friendships and it was fine.
Its a difficult one isn't it, I remember going to playgroup as a child and didn't understand why I was there or what was going on so my gran didn't take me anymore as I got upset but then when I started school they had problems with me (who would have thought I was a problem child lol!) and I cried constantly. I wouldn't want my child to feel out of place or alone in that environment like I did but at the same time I wouldn't want them to be pushed into things either.
However I'm sure that the preschool would take a very gentle approach anyway wouldn't they, and if they do kind of match her up with another child then she might end up making a little friend.

I think you should definitely write that birth plan - that's about as much as you can expect isn't it lol neither of mine went anywhere near how I wanted them to but I never wrote a birth plan with either - nobody ever mentioned it to me!

That sounds really nice on your birthday, nice to hear baby's heartbeat and then have a nice family meal :-))xx

yes i have spoken to adam now. he is a bit annoyed about - wants them just to accept that she is a quiet child and leave her to it - he prefers to work on his own and i think she must get that from him! i can totally see his point, but equally i have said to him that they are trying to help her. i think it is probably the fact that they setting her targets which bothers me most - what if she fails them???? it just feels a bit like she is being tested which i think totally unfair at her age, but it is probably the only way they can see how she is progressing and i do understand that. she loves going! i had a chat with her this afternoon and i asked her what she likes to do and who she likes to play with - she named a few children and her keyworker as her favourite people and told me that she really likes painting and dressing up. i have noticed an improvement in her when i drop her off. for the first term she was there (april-july) i would take her into the room and she had to find her name sticker and put it on the board as self-registration and then go over to the registration corner and all the kids sit down and they do circle time. i used to have to walk her over there with her clinging to my leg! since she went back in sept she has been totally different - i take her in, remind her to put her name sticker on the board and then she walks off to the registation corner on her own and waves me off! that certainly isnt a child who is unhappy about going. i am probably being oversensitive about it - let's blame the hormones!

yes, i will write a birth plan - i have a few ideas such as labouring in water - not sure if i will give birth in water but we'll see how i feel at the time , pain relief of tens, relaxation, gas and air only, baby straight on to me after birth (this is all assuming i dont go in too late like last time though!). cant think what else they normally like you to put?? oh, whether you want the placenta to come out on it's own or have the injection to speed it up?

yes, my birthday will be nice! adam is getting me vouchers for beauty salon treatments for one baby is old enough to be left for a few hours - quite looking forward to a bit of pampering! x

adam has just spoken to his sister about this - her kids are 16 and 10 - but both of them went to the same pre-school as olivia. she told us not to worry, they are constantly trying to make kids all the same and comparing them to each other - she just ignores it now. she said that at the end of term parents evening (so july time), she was told that her youngest was doing brilliantly. now, just one half term later, he is now apparently falling behind in maths! she cannot understand why there has been such a dramatic turn around and why she hasnt noticed. the only thing she can come up with is that their expectations are too rigid and he excels in other subjects instead of maths but none of that individuality is taken into account.

i have just spoken to my mum. mum has been round looking after my sister's kids as my sister has just been to their parents evening.. she too is having a similar problem with her youngest - she turned 4 in may so is one of the youngest children in her year and started school in september (so only been there 6 weeks). they said that they need to work with her because she will follow other children and join in with their games but wont start any games of her own and that apparently is somethimg they need to work on with her. also, if she asked if there is a problem, she wont say. well, perhaps she doesnt know what the problem is! also, why does she have to be a leader, why cant she be a follower?! it just seems that they want all kids to be doing the same thing and dont take individual personalities into account - olivia may have strengths in other areas that the noisier kids dont have

that doesnt sound good, can you ask for a meeting 1st, why dont they sit down with her first and ask her what you did, the staff can also help with her joining in by involving her? think they jump into things first and dont take into the fact that some children are just quiet and not loud/bossy/leaders there is no problem its not your hormones id feel the same as you are happy with her, as is your husband but i suppose they have a book and times etc to follow but as i say i think they need to speak to olivia first and see how she feels x