Forum : Mums

hey hun iv got 2 kids aged 1 year and 3 years and there a handfull i really think iv got the naughtiest children there ever was lol
i tell them off my oldest get put in his room 2 cool down by him self for a few mins yes he destroys his room but when he comes out and iv told him he is not aloud 2 behave like that most of the time he will say sorry and i have smacked him on the hand before my only warning is u will feel horrible after doing it i cried 2 my parner thinking i was a bad mother i no a smack on the hand doesnt hurt in the long run like your parner said but it does break your heart i would much rather put my son in his bedroom as punishment then explain afterwards there is no right or wrong way just like there no magic parenting book its completely up 2 u how u disciplin ur kids take care xx

hi, 1st of all you will need to always praise the good behavior and discipline the bad, give a warning the 1st time they do something, so say no thats naughty do not do (whatever they are doing) if you do it again you will go in naughty corner/step say it in a firm voice but not angry or shouting, just let them know your the boss and in charge and you mean it, if they repeat it, put them in the naughty corner/step the 3 year old for 3 mins and 2 year old for 2, if they come out, dont speak to them, just place them back in, turn your back and wait, keep repeating it until they stay in, after tell them why they were put in and ask for an apology and when they say sorry have a big hug.
you could try a reward chard, so a star for good behavior and a star for bad, and at the end of the week if they have a star on each day then give them a treat, whether its a sweet or a trip to park you decide if they have no stars on a day in the chart, take away a toy or privilege for a day or 2
if its just a strop then let them strop it out, they express anger, frustration, upset sometimes in their behavior and sometimes cant say how they feel, so try to determine if its bad behavior or if there could be something wrong. and if it is just a case of bad behavior do the above
i dont agree with smacking the hand unless it was something very big they did or if they kept hitting me over a few weeks, then it would be a 1 off, i think that they should learn by punishment rather than that. just stick to one punishment and dont give in, if you give in they will know they can do it again, i understand it can be hard but once they know you dont take it they will get better, just find one that works for you. sorry cant be much help though id share what i have learned xxx

Hi Sara, lol I can't help but smile when I imagine them being naughty together but it must be so hard with the new baby to look after as well!
I agree that giving lots of positive praise for things they do nicely, reward charts (although Eoghan might be a little young for them yet but will still probably like getting stickers etc) and I would persevere with the naughty step - it worked really well with my daughter although I have to say she was pretty good so she wasn't on it all that often! Whereas max will probably be on it most of the day when he's old enough lol!
What worked with my daughter was keeping her busy and letting her be my little helper - so if I was cleaning I'd give her a duster, if I was making the bed she'd help me, etc going shopping give them a list of their own so they have things to put in the trolley to keep them occupied (you can draw pictures on the list).
Also try to stop tantrums from happening in the first place by giving a choice - so if it's snack time give them a choice of two healthy snacks, when getting dressed give them a choice of two t-shirts, so they think they are getting what they want but are still having what you want them to lol! And make things like getting dressed and brushing teeth a game or race to make it enjoyable rather than a battle. Its difficult with two as they'll egg each other on won't they. It might help to split the day up into sections and have a structured routine so they know when its snack time, story time, outside play etc and when you have to feed the baby then try to tie it in with their snack or meal time, or even tv time and get them engrossed in cbeebies while you are dealing with the baby.
I'm sure it will get a lot easier as they get older and you are able to communicate better with them both, Eoghan is still very young.
Anyway good luck and in a few months time I'll be asking you for help and tips with my little monster! :-)))xxx

Thankyou :) It's just so frustrating when I feel like I'm talking to little brick walls. I know it's normal though and just toddlers being typical toddlers but you're right Sharon, so much more frustrating when little Isaac is carrying on too. Will persevere with the step and I was thinking about a chart but wasn't sure if it worked so will give that a go too. Would be much easier if I had "the voice", I just sound silly telling them off which must make it so much funnier to them, Matt has it down perfectly and I'm just the soft parent though haha! Thanks though, at least I know I'm not doing anything wrong, hopefully you're all right and they'll grow out of it.... xxx

Ah the naughty/time out step never worked for us! Wot does work with my 3 yr old (like a dream I might add) Is he has to be right by my side for 5 mins So doing washing up he has to stand next to me, hang out the washing he has to walk backwards and forwards with me, making the beds he has to come with me, everything you do they have to be right next to you! Cam finds it most tediious and boring not helped by the fact that I try to find the worst bits of housework to do while he is On the Follow (thats what we call it)! we realised he would much rather be playing or colouring in or watching his regualr intake of fireman sam than following mama! good luck whatever route you take! Plus we never talk to him when he is On the Follow either so extra boring!