Forum : Mums

dont feel bad. i never went to baby/toddler groups with Olivia and I wont go with this baby either. I have heard things from friends about how the mums go into their little groups and it is really hard for a newcomer to infiltrate the bond! I am a shy person so I wouldnt feel comfortable doing it. Olivia has been at pre-school for a term and a half and I am only now speaking with the other mums there - it has actually been the fact which I am pregnant which has been the ice-breaker as
everybody asks me about it and now I know some of the mums there.
the fact that Max didnt join in isnt a problem as kids dont actually play properly together until at least 2 years old so he wont join in just yet.
whether you go next time is just going to be whether you feel either of you are getting anything out of it. as i say, i never went to any with Liv and I dont see the fact that i didnt go as a bad thing - for some people these groups just arent for them. Liv of course went to nursery from 11mths old and I feel as she has got older it was beneficial for her but not when she was younger - she just didnt get it really.
if it is attached to the pre-school, the only advantage in going will be that you and max will get to know the children he will go to pre-school with and then they will be the children he'll go to primary school with. olivia goes to the local pre-school now exactly for that reason - the kids she is playing with now are the kids she'll be at school with. i personally dont think it'll do him any harm not to go to toddler groups now as presumably you will send him to pre-school when he is old enough and then he'll get the interaction with the children when he is older when he is actually able to understand about it.
you clearly dont feel like going gives you a break if you spend the whole time running around after him - you could be doing that at home!
toddler groups arent my thing either - do what you feel comfortable with. x

im totally with you on this one, places like that are very clicky and i dont seem to fit in either and it can be really demoralising sometimes. i gave up on places like that.
your not a wimp xxxxx

Thanks guys! I think I was determined to go because mother in law was saying that I should take him to some groups and it would help him to get used to other children etc - and I know you should never listen to the mother in law lol!
I've only got two friends with young children, one has a 2.5 year old but doesn't live near me so we dont see each other very often and the other is my friend who's just set up the toddler sense franchise, we are 25mins drive apart and i don't always have car plus she's tied up with her classes now and her 18 month old daughter is in nursery part time. So he doesn't mix with other toddlers at all really, my sister in laws kids are 6 and 4 and both at school now.
He did enjoy it even if he was just running round and round. I had to really push myself to go today as well! Maybe I could just go every other week......
It always seems that all the other mums there have been going for years or something and they all know each other really well!! They were either sat talking or stood talking, apart from two mums with babies I was the only one actually with their child!
Did both of you take your toddlers to other things instead of toddler groups? Problem is where I live there's nothing like soft play or swimming that i can get to without a car.
Gosh I sound like a right moaner today! :-))xx

i totaly agree !!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt no what it ment by "clicky ppl" until i went to a toddler group- all the ppl go in friendship groups its rubbish - i go to one and every tues and fri and i [censored] home wanting to scream. iv just turned 20 my daughter is 2 at my toddler group its eather little clicks just stitting talking not paying attention at there kids hitting others or ppl that look at you as tho you have just smaked there kid- there perfect lil kids wiv all the designer stuff on luk down there noses. the only person that speeks to me is a 50yr old. places lyk these make me angry - soz if im way off point - rant over

i didnt do anything else in particular with olivia. i did sometimes meet up with my sister and we'd take them to a playbarn but that wasnt a regular thing (my sister's kids are older than livi, one is 9 mths older and the other is 2 years older). tbh, we were both more than happy with it just being us at home - we stayed and played at home or we went for a walk. i really cant be doing with "groups" of mums at toddler groups and it isnt something that i would want to get into. my friend took her son (before she had her daughter) to a group and she only went 2 or 3 times before she gave up - exacty the same reasons - she is very outgoing so has no problem chatting to people, but nobody would speak to her, she felt like they were just sat around chatting and drinking coffee and she was left with their kids!

its a real shame that people have had bad experiences. The ones I go to have always been so welcoming to new people. Is there a sure start centre near you? Ours runs one off days and short courses as well as weekly things. We have just finished a free cooking course and went to growing sessions at the community gardens. We also go on a buggy walk. Our library runs wriggly reader sessions which are good. You don't have to interact with other mums, just listen to stories and sing along! I'm making the most of it whilst i'm off as come January i'll be back at work full time - boo!!

hi, sometimes when I read your posts you say the things i am thinking! I haven't had much luck with toddler groups either. n
nobody really spoke to me at my local sure start centre or at a jumpin jax session, they all seemed to be in little clicks. I have made friends with a lady across the riad

Road from me, and we go to a wiggle and juggle class together, which is much better. More welcoming and everyone is singing together. It does help that I have moral support with me, but the group is much friendlier. Have you got anything like that near you? By the way, the sleeping thing has gone wrong again so i did speak too soon! That will teach me! Sorry about all the typos my phone is playing up and seems to be on a delay. Don't give up with the group if there is nothing else in your area, perhaps try again, but if you feel like rubbish afterwards its not worth it, remember its not you, these places can be odd at times! X

That should have said wiggle and jiggle, not juggle lol, now that would be fun! Ha ha ha

They can be very clicky I agree! I've tried different ones recently but I've been lucky because my neighbour who I get along with asked me to go to a couple of different ones with her so I've found the ones that I like. I'm like you though , I'm always running around after Jayden too, I try and let him have a little bit of space but I end up feeling really nervy and they always find something potentially hazardous to do don't they even in a padded room ha!! One of them that I went to though I didn't like because a few of the mums were putting their cups of tea on the floor under their chairs which I think is so dangerous when there are babies and toddlers roaming around xxx