Forum : Mums

Don't worry about it! If it suits you both to not have a routine then there isn't problem, in time you will probably find a pattern emerges.

I breast-fed and had a routine but thats because it suited me and my baby. My tips for establishing a routine are;
- starting the day at the same time every day,
- making sure your baby has a really good feed (from both boobs if necessary) so that she can last at least 2-3 hours between feeds (at 10 weeks my baby was going 3 hours)
- put your baby to bed with a nice bed-time routine each day at the same time.

I reckon you will soon see a pattern emerge, but as soon as it does, something happens (baby is extra hungry or tired or you are away from home for a few days) and it is all change again!!

thanks sally,
i had been so tired last couple of weeks we were just getting up whenever! as from today i got up earlier and im going to make a big effort to start to form routine. i do like getting up earlier as i feel i get more done and feel better in my self - will let you know how it goes! xx

i breastfed too and found our last feed was around 11.30/12pm gradually the feeds at night got further apart and she slept through quite early on. Like the other reply, this did get disrupted when she got hungrier or we went away. Soon sorted itself out again though. We never had a strict routine, i think your baby will eventually settle into her own pattern. The only thing we did which was the same as above was start the day at the same time (about 8, i dont do really early mornings!!)and bed at the same time. To begin with i had her sleeping downstairs in the day and upstairs at bedtime so she knew the difference between night and day, but now when she has a nap in the day i put her in her cot so hopefullly she assosiates it with sleep and knows when i put her in there its time for a kip. Also i expressed some milk so she had a bottle from daddy before bed, this was then different to the rest of the day and she knew bottle meant bed. This has seemed to work but theyre all so different its difficult to say if its the right thing or not!! Good luck, im sure everything will eventually click into place!

Hi Lynsey
My baby is nearly 8 weeks old and I was concerned about not having a routine too, especially when one of my friends had a ten day old baby and she was already feeding him and putting him to sleep at set times!! She used the Contented Little Baby book by Gina Ford. I did have a look at this book but found it so restrictive and I thought my baby should decide when she's hungry not when the routine dictates!!

I now have a bedtime routine at 7.00 of giving her a bath, feeding her and then putting her down in her own room and playing her mobile. Sometimes it works and she will sleep til 10.00 before waking for her next feed, other times she just doesnt want to sleep and we have to get her out by 8.30. We try not to get too stressed if she doesnt want to go to sleep. I dont feed her at set times throughout the day, I let her tell me when she's hungry but I am beginning to find it is now similar times each day, normally every 3 hours. She normally wakes between 7 and 8 and I make sure we get up after that feed. I then try to let her have an hours nap in the morning and afternoon and a couple of hours at lunchtime but again if she doesnt want to sleep I dont make her and if she does want to go to sleep thats fine. Obviously if we are going out somewhere then we just work round it.
Hope this helps, I dont think its wrong not to have a strict routine. Just enjoy baby!! x

My baby is now 9 weeks, I was really worried I was a bad mum for not having a routine but my h/v said not to worry. I now keep bed times the same (7pm bath,feed, bed) but through the day I let him decide when he's hungry. From 8pm he usually goes through to 2am then 6-7am. This suits us, it's just a case of finding what suits you and ignore everyone elses advise you'll only start to doubt yourself. xx

I used to get soooo stressed about routines and my baby not following them and was constantly comparing myself to other mums and their routines, so much so that it made me quite poorly.

I was stressing about him having an activity after feeding (using the EASY routine from the Baby Whisperer), but he used to sleep after a feed, then have an activity - more like ESYA than EASY!! I would cluster feed him to try and get him through the night, wake him up to feed him if I thought he would sleep through a feed etc and none of it made any difference - he would take what he wanted when he wanted and in the end I just thought enough! I stopped reading so many books and let him play when he wanted, feed when he wanted and from that, came a much better understanding of his body language and his needs and at about 4 months it all started to click into place and he's established his own routine.

All I do now is keep an eye on the clock and keep him in line - i.e start getting him ready for bed at 6.30pm with his last feed etc, put him in gro bag etc and take it from there. He usually sleeps from 7pm - 8am. If he wakes early or later, I don't stress, I just take his feeds from when the day starts and put him to bed at the same time. A lot of baby books are really good, with loads of helpful hints, but there are just so many babies that don't follow the text book examples - mine included!! Good luck!

my baby is now 10 months and still not in a routine her last bottle would be about 10 oclock i puts her up to bed but se will not go she will just screem untill me or her dad goes and picks her up i wants to get her in a routine by the time she is 1 year but i have tryed everything.