Forum : Mums

Hi, its really common after women have a baby and its partly hormonal and partly just cos they are knackered and have other priorities! So don't beat yourself up about it, but there are ways to get it back again.
Firstly (sorry going to be graphic here too!!) touch yourself. Even if you don't feel like it. The more you touch yourself the more sexy you will feel. If you wanted to you could let your partner watch, or do it in private whatever you prefer.
Secondly make a pact with him that you don't have sex for at least 2 weeks - but make sure that every single day you spend at least half an hour of quality time together where you are cuddling and kissing etc as if you were first dating. You might find that because you aren't 'allowed' to do it that you actually really want to - but don't give in! This is a really good way to get the closeness and intimacy back without actual penetrative sex. Sometimes we can lose the affectionate side of things because we are busy doing other things, but if he is washing up give him a cuddle and a kiss (I always find my hubby really sexy when he's washing up - he doesn't do it often though!!!), send each other texts saying how much you love each other and miss each other, and you can make them naughty too.
Its just a case of making the effort for that time together really which is so hard when you have a toddler, but if you can make the time and get the rest of it back on track then hopefully the sex will follow.
Failing that, the other option is to just do it! Even if you don't feel like it. You've already said you do enjoy it when you do, and the more you have it the more you should want it!
And make sure you have some 'me time' - don't mean sexually but just time out for yourself to relax and chill out, if we don't get a break then everything else seems far worse.
I hope that things improve for you soon, I'm sure that it will come back for you in time xxx

hi! i struggled with this alot my daughter is 2 and a half and im actually pregnant atm so not really that into sex atm but when she was born i really wasnt into it. but everything buffy said is a really good idea.
also i found that i was putting alot of pressure on the whole sex thing. dont get me wrong i think it s ahuge part of a relationship and im a very sexual person but sometimes when u make too much of abig deal of it then it seems to just grow and grow and eventually its like a hugeweight that actually just started as something tiny. i think woman have a tendancy to over think and blow things out of proportion god knows i do lol.

also we make an evening once a month where we have a date night. we get a babysitter, get all dressed up and do something nice. even if u dont go out just stay in a have a nice candle lit meal. no tele properly dressed up heels dress etc like a first date. we just treat it like a night where we can be a couple and not parents. we drink a couple glasses of wine too many and ussually dont actually end up having sex until the next morning because that way it doesnt feel like u have to do it coz thats a mega mood killer. also sleeping naked helps i find. and maybe having abath together.
like buffy says its making a real big effort to make time for the little stupid things that u sed to take for granted before u had a baby and that ussually ends up leading somewhere more.
before i got pregnant i did most these things and my sex drive went almost back to normal. so im sure it will for u too the important things is u are doing something about it and not letting it become a big problem.

hope this helps.xx

panic over - like you sed i probly have blew it nd red too much into it. i instigated it last nite nd we ok today, was really gud aswell lol. i think when you naggd nd pulld to do it, you dont want to do it and its a chaw so i fink we sorted nice 1 ladys im ganna take it on board

ye i do that read way to much ino it and just make it soo much of a big deal lol
glad its all sorted xx

Glad things are going better! I think you're right about being nagged it puts me off when my hubby is groping me constantly, we can't seem to have a cuddle without him copping a feel! And I don't mean in the bedroom just anywhere at any time! He's a real groper lol, I think its nice that they obviously want us so much ha ha but it can be offputting! I prefer it when my hubby plays hard to get but he doesn't do that very often lol :-))xx

haha i dont think blokes know how to play hard to get lol. my OH is just the same constantly groping me in publice, when im using sharp knives or hot water ANY TIME wherever lol it is a good thing but sometimes i do just feel like saying GET LOST FOR FIVE SECONDS but then i try that and he thinks i never want himto touch me ever and that opens a whole new can of worms lol no middle ground with men is there?

Lol they are terrible aren't they! I quite like public displays of affection so don't mind so much but it gets a bit annoying when I'm washing up and he pulls my pj bottoms and knickers down because my hands are busy!
And yes if you tell them to get lost they go and sulk don't they! :-)))