Forum : Mums

Hi metal mummy, sounds like he needs a big metal kick up the bum!!
Firstly putting aside the sex chat sites....does he help out with the other children at all? Was just wondering if Damian was his first baby - with him being premature maybe he's been a bit scared of doing things, but you said he used to be supportive so it could just be laziness! He maybe thinks with him working lots of hours that he is entitled to chill out time when he's at home - but then he doesn't realise how hard it is being at home all day on your own with a baby and trying to look after the house and cook as well (I usually end up leaving the housework completely!!). The best thing you could do would be to disappear out for a full day next time he is off work and leave him with the baby on his own - maybe then he will realise how hard it is to look after him and do everything else as well and might be a bit more willing to help out. You need to talk to him though, it's obviously really getting you down and if you don't tell him then it will just build up and up and you'll resent him more and more. If you've got friends or family who can help out then take all the help you can get and maybe try to have some time on your own as a couple (easier said than done I know, my son is 18 months and my hubby and I haven't been out together at all since he was born!).
Its so hard, my hubby works 12 hour shifts and sometimes I feel like a single mum but even after a 12 hour day he'll come home and do the hoovering or wash up and on his days off he'll do cleaning so he's good in that respect (a bit too good as he moans at me a lot about the state of the house lol!).
Going back to the sex chat lines - if that was me I would see that as cheating anyway - how would he feel if you'd signed up to them? Pretty peeved I would guess. That would put my whole relationship in doubt to be honest I'd be showing him the door, so I'd have a serious think about that and ask him what the heck he thinks he's doing!!!!! You deserve to have someone that makes you feel loved and special, so don't settle for anything less xx

you def deserve to be made to feel special and loved.
i think the shock of having a baby has made him act differently. not that there is any excuse but men dont have the same connection we do and they often feel jealous.
i would talk to him and say exactly how you feel, confront him and the longer you leave it the worse you will feel. at this time you need love and support.
and as buffy13 said dont settle if he doesnt appreciate you def dont settle! xxxxx