Forum : Mums

legally its both of there house, so he can ask for his half, or the money back he has put into it, my mum went through this but i dont know much about what went on as i was only young and didn't understand, but my aunt is now going through it, and she hasnt got a leg to stand on at the minute as she has no money spare and he put most of the money into the house, he wants his half and up to now it looks like he's getting it, she needs to seek legal advice 1st then speak to him and see what his intentions are. we didnt lose the house by the way so thats a good thing, fingers crossed she wont either xx

Amys right. legally its half his house, but he cany force her to sell as its the family home, and the kids need a roof over their heads.
She does need to see a solicitor. Im sure a neighbour of mine went through this and i think (im not sure tho) that he coulndt make her sell the house, and she could stay there. it was only when the kids left school he had more of a say.

also tell her to contact the benefits office, they can pay the mortgage (intrest only) and sort out benifits like disability, income support etc so she isnt reliant on him. and so she will have her independence and will b able to pay bills. if there is enough equity in the house, she could buy him out, which mayb an optin.

I would advise against allowing him to pay all the bills (it will surely get thrown in her face at some point) also will allow him to have more say in the home.

Please strongly advise her to seek legal help (she will get this free) xx

The law may not necessary allow him to take half of their assests as there are children involved. So i think it could work out two ways.

1) If she agreed to sell the house she could be entitled to a higher percentage because the law will take into concideration that she is genuinely ill, and has two young dependants. 2)The other way it could work is that she won't be forced to sell the house until all their children are 18/19 and out of full time education. then they can spit the assets 50/50.

This is a really sad case buffy, hope fully if they can be amicaable the solicitors wont get there hand on a large proportion. xxx

Thanks guys, we told her to get legal advice when he first said he was leaving but she hasn't as yet and I don't really know why as she's a very intelligent and strong woman. If it was me I'd have packed his bags and seen a solicitor the next day! I think she still trusts him (god knows why) and thinks that he won't leave them in the lurch kind of thing. He says there's nobody else but if there isn't then why has it taken him so long to leave? seems like he was waiting for something (or someone) to me or maybe I'm just being cynical. Poor little kids, at least they don't see him during the week anyway so I suppose it won't be much different for them in that respect. He's refused to talk about anything since they 'split' last year and I'm not sure if he's been moving money around but he earns a very high salary and gets bonuses each year - last year his bonus was over 6k and it went into their bank account and then went straight out again - to who knows where. He actually woke her up in the night when she was asleep to tell her he was leaving that friday - maybe so she couldn't question him about things? Very strange. She's well rid but I know she's worried sick about how they'll manage.
Thanks again for all your replies, it at least seems like he can't force her to sell or leave them homeless which is something anyway! :-))xx

LK is totally right, children being involved does change things. my SIL and her husband split and my MIL has bought out my SIL's ex-hubby so my SIL and her kids still live in the same house. MIL only bought him out 1/5 of the house value as that is the arrangement they all came to.

Thanks shelly, its a shame as even if her family could afford to buy him out which I'm sure they can't, she couldn't afford the mortgage repayments and I don't believe that you can get housing benefit for mortgaged properties.
Update - he left yesterday after spending the weekend with the kids and didn't even say when he would be in touch or when he would see the kids next - I think he's assuming he can come back at weekends and stay in the house and see them as normal - if it was me I'd be changing the locks!