Forum : Mums

I was always too scared to admit it to my HV or Dr but when I did it done me the world of good. I had my eldest in 2005, it was a traumatic birth and we nearly lost him. I went dreadfully downhill almost immediately. I got to the point where I wouldnt go out and stayed in all day crying. I managed to have another baby in this dark time, 19 months later. Another traumatic birth but I did feel a bit better afterwards. However, he was a difficult baby and 5 or so months later I felt myself slipping back. I got help this time. I never had to take anti depressants but I spoke to my HV once a month to discuss how I was feeling and what I could do to help myself. Plenty of walks is the key. It really does help to lift you out of it a bit. Its all slotted into place from there really. The only thing I am still struggling with is driving. I lost all my confidence in everything and I still don't drive unless I really have to but I am working on that. Apparently not wanting to drive is common in PND sufferers but I dont know how much truth is in that.

I felt scared and ashamed that I had PND. You think everyone will see you as a bad mother but its not true. They actually see you as being very brave for admitting it and help you as much as they can, its just that asmitting it is the hardest step. It is also nothing to feel ashamed about. They do say that 1 in 10 mums have diagnosed PND and many more go undiagnosed. I read on another site last night that they now think the true figure maybe as many as 1 in 3 mums suffering.

I really think you should talk to your HV or GP and go from there.

Hope this helps. Take care.

Hi hun your not alone, so don't try to hide or ignore your feelings it'll only make things worse, don't be afriad to speak to your hv or doctor, it was such a tremendus relief when i fianally went, i would strongly urge anyone who feels like this to go, it's nothing to be ashamed about, you've taken the first step by admitting for feelings, now take the next step and seek the help you deserve!! my email is sarahjkendrick@tiscali.co.uk if you want to chat about pnd or anything at all xxx

Thanks 2 you both for replying, its nice to see that people are bothered. I actually went to the HV this morning, and i'm so glad i went. Even asking her about the subject started me crying, but i feel so much better. I've felt so different today, like a weight has been lifted.
I think i might write some kind of diary about how i've been feeling and what i've done that day - to see if there are certain situations that make me feel worse, and see what i can do about them.

Yeah that's a good idea my hv suggested that so i could see that it wasn't the whole day that was bad, if you know what i mean, i never got round to it, but i think it's a good idea, good luck with it. I felt the same when i finally admitted i wasn't coping just telling them was a great weight lifted of my shoulders xxxxx

i feel like rubbish.
after i'd been to see my HV about post natal depression, i felt much better and i've had a different attitude towrds everyday situations. things have definatley changed for the better.
But it's been nearly 3 weeks since i had a very breif disscussion with my other half about my trip to the health visitor. And i really don't know why i bothered to mention it. he hasn't asked how i'm getting on or how am feeling. he's not even bothered to read the leaflets - even when i put them right under his nose! we had a row today, so i bought it up. he said i thought i was dealing with it, and ha does't need to read anything to know how i feel.
If i can't rely on the one person i should be able to turn to for support, what can i do??!

Oh dear some men are really insensitive when it comes to anything emotional, personally i'd get an appiontment to see your doctor, they will listen to you, and perhaps suggest going on medication for the short term, until your more like your old self, i was very resistant to the idea of tablets, but to be honest they have been a god send, that and talking properly to my doctor who's been brilliant, i also keep intouch with other women who i've met throught this site with pnd, we talk about anything and everything, so if you want to join our club (so to speak) my email is sarahjkendrick@tiscali.co.uk, i've found being able to express myself to women who've either been there or are going through it now, so refreshing and liberating, just knowing others are out there help. My name is Sarah i'm 36 (and have pnd), i have one daughter who will be one on the 24th June, and we live in Hampshire, where abouts do you live? xxxx

hi clair,im glad u went to HV,like you i felt i was "drowning" and felt better after chatting to hv and gp.It is good to email people who understand,so give sassy an email if u get the time.it makes you feel less lonely to see a friendly email in inbox!
I am not with my daughters father but feel so frustrated like you that he doesnt understand what im feeling,but that fact just simply frustrates me even more then im not sure what i feel more frustrated with,being a single mum or banging my head against a brick wall each time i try to get support from him,so now ive given up trying and just concentrate on coping better .unfortunately men can not possibly understand us and the hormones and feelings that comes with being a woman and a mum,So try not to frustrate yourself even more.youre doing a great job and its a tough job.well done for seeking help.

HI Bublish, sorry to hear your having problems too, i've just read your post, and you are welcome to email me anytime too, i'm not in your situation, i;m happily married despite the pnd, but am only to happy to chat with you if you would like to xxxxx

HI Sarah I would like to say you sound like a very caring person, you write on so many of these posta and always have something positive to say, you answered mine when i asked if I was the only person struggling, it really does help to write about it, claire I hope you keep seeing your hv, I have found it really helpful I also go to mother and baby group which is just for babies under four months old, I hate doing things like that but I have to say it really helps to talk to other mums who are in the same situation. My little boy cries so much he had a major hissy fit in Marks and spencers and people stare at you but talking to other mums you find that you are not the only one they stare at.
Keep logging on reading and posting on other people and together we will all get throught it. Take one day at a time, some will be good other will not but in time you will have more god then bad. Take care. Nicky

I'm only glad to help, i know how you all feel and i a strange way it helps me help other's if that makes sense!! your all welcome to email me anytime my email address is on one of the above post, so feel free if you'd like to, and i'm also on the friends forum as well. Hope you all have a good day tomorrow, Sarah xxxx