Forum : Mums

hi, i will talk to you, I lost my baby in april at 12 weeks-it was my firts pregnancy and i was devestated- im now pregnant again and you would think i would feel better but im worrying myself stupid-i dont know what i will do if i lose this baby, why do you feel guilty? xx

hey,thanx, horrible losing a baby at whichever stage in pregnancy or life.i lost my daughter at 34 weeks jan 07. i fell pregnant fairly quick after the stillbirth and finally have a gorgeous 4 month old son who i adore._he makes me laugh,smile ,he just makes my life worth living now. _but because i was soo depressed i took anti-depressants until i fell pregnant with josh, i didn't really have the time to grieve.i feel so guilty towards josephine for not visiting her grave,focussing on joshua more& not grieving for her the way i want to,and feel guilty towards joshua for crying myself to sleep every night because i wished i'd of had more time to grieve for the little girl i so dearly miss._nobody ever talks to me about josephine ,it's like a swear word to family and friends .i haven't been to her grave since my mum died in march(age 42) _i try to give joshua everything i can, but just wish i had my other baby here to share my love between them._

i've had a rough few years...,married at 17, he got violent,met my patner ,josephine being stillborn,my mum(MY BEST FRIEND) battling cancer ,me not being there for here because she lived abroad and i wasnt allowed to fly & dying mum in march,when josh was 4 weeks old. _i now have nobody to talk to,boyfriend isn't interested, mother-in-law just laughs it all off i feel my life has gone so downhill,except for having joshua, i dont work nomore,dont socialise my life is miserable and i have to put a happy face on...which wont last very long because i'm about to explode

Hey hun,
you sound as though your really have had a hard tough few years. Any time you wana talk hun i will listen to you, im a darn good listener! My e-mail is
katie.lou.1982@hotmail.co.uk
Feel free to mail me hun, i am thinking of you!
Take care,
Katie & Carys xxxx

god thatt is so awful-i feel so guilty for being so sad about me-im crying writing this to you-i like the way you chose the two similar names and I bet your little josephine is fine-she will be with your mum and they will both be fine. Why dont you and joshua visit her grave together-take some flowers-it will be cathartic for you and make you feel so much better-i also planted a bush in my garden called baby blue eyes and its started to flower now that makes me smile every morning and i always say hi to it-dont think im mad, it really helps. As for Joshua dont feel guilty he is your pride and joy and deserves all hi mummys attention. I agree with you about the grieving though im pregnant agian-although im really worried as im having twinges in my right ovary and rib cage-but im still grieving for the baby lost in april this year-i thought getting pregnnat again quickly would be the answer and it was until you start getting stupid twinges and worrying all day and night about them. Keep in touch-your a star by theway after what you have been through and I bet you are a fabulous mummy! xx

by the way your mother in law sounds abit like mine-she said to me "dont worry you will have another baby" that was 2 days after I miscarried-I think its just a mother in law way they dont know how to behave when its their sons wife! also. As for boyfriend not being interested thats just plain mean after what you have been through-but on the other hand he to could still be suffering. You are amazing you know and very strong xx

thanx for your replies, today i am feeling quite good. i took joshua to twinkle time and spoke to the health visitor about how i feel, her daughter has recently suffered a stillbirth too. _i light a candle for my mum and josephine whenever i'm feeling down(which is often) i also wear the same necklace as josey has in her little pink coffin with her and have the same teddy she has with her which we call "josey's bears brother" LOL _i'm expecting again ,found out i'm 9 weeks! i'm in two minds,i dont know wheter to jump for joy or cry...but i'd never abort!!!_i must go would love to stay in touch_my email address is sarah242hart@hotmail.com _sarah & joshua xx

i have sent you both a friend request !_as for my mother-in-law i don't think she knows how to talk about the subject. and my fella is just plain ignorant ,...i yhink all i need to say is PS3!!!if its not talking about that or sports hes not interested .must say he does his fair share with josh...when he wants to.__i'm not sure why we picked names so similar joshua was meant to be a kieran but we saw his face on the scans,he looked the double of josephine...guess thats how we got the name!!

awww hun my heart goes out to you, you stay strong chick. and HUGE CONGRATS ON BEIN PREG AGAIN!!!! enjpy every second and try not to worry as im sure it will go smoothly x x

hi loubird bit late i know from when u posted this but just read it and i am crying reading it all, you are really brave after what you have been through and im sure u are a really good mum to josh and also to little josephine u are still her mum, i also lost a baby at 10 weeks two days before my 21st birthday,three years ago, my son was nearly 2 and a half then, i now have a lovely four and a half month old son, i never got to see my one i lost never had scan or anything but i still believe i have three babies not two,its only way i feel better, still feel sad now and again, congratulations on being pregnant again, take care, my address is leanne_h_1984@hotmail.co.uk, i have added u hope ok? Leanne xx