Forum : Mums

only you can answer that question. everybody's opinion is going to be different.

i personally could not have a gap that close. i have a 4yr gap (i have a 4yr old and an 11 week old). it has been perfect having that gap as we had plenty of time with our eldest, she potty trained with my undivided attention and has had 4 years of being able to do the things she wanted to with us. she is now old enough to play with her baby sister and help me out. she understands that when the baby is crying that i need to deal with her and she is very happy to wait and understands that when baby is asleep she gets our attention again. equally she is off to school in september so i will have the same one to one time with our youngest when my eldest is at school (she is at pre-school now so i am getting some one to one time with trhe baby already).

my sister fell pregnant with her second when her first was only 6 months old. neither of hers were planned. i am not going to lie, she found it very hard. the eldest wasnt old enough to play by herself while she dealt with the baby. she didnt understand why mum couldnt play at that moment and she had to potty train the eldest with the youngest trying to climb in the potty as well! they are so close in age that they actually do argue quite a lot but equally there are times when their close age gap means they can both enjoy the same thing. the eldest turned 6 at the weekend and the youngest will be 5 in may, so they are both at school now and my sister has her daytimes back to herself but she has never had the one to one time with either of them like i have with mine.

knowing what i know now about how hard it is dealing with two children i am pleased that we did want a big gap - things are hard ennough now there are days when i dont get breakfast until lunch time, or get to the end of the day and realise i didnt get a shower that morning...or yesterday for that matter - i cant imagine what it would be like if i had a smaller gap and neither child was old enough to amuse themselves for even a short period.

BUT whatever age gap there is going to be pros and cons for both so you just need to do what you want to do. take people's comments on board but ultimately make your own decision and then dont let anybody else tell you you are making a mistake!

good luck!

My second is due 15th Feb this year, my first will be nearly 17 months when my second one will be born.
The gap will be close, I know it will be hard work, but my first one has been in nursery full time and she has become so confident in playing on her own, yes you have to keep an eye on her, but it will be hard, I know. Theres no easy way.
I will hopefully see the benefit of this in a few years time when they actually play together. But I felt I wanted my kids to have a closer age gap personally so that eventually including my lifestyle, we can get on with the same routines eventually!

Oh thats a hard one! But saying that as soon as we brought our 1st baby home from hospital I wanted another one, I loved being in a baby bubble. I can see the benefits of having them close together, but in order to keep your sanity you'll prob need a lot of suport from family and friends.

If you have them close together you spend less time raising children. and get some of yourself back much sooner. There will be 3 yrs bwtn mine when my 2nd arrives in April.
both times when pregnant & returning to work my employers have given me a hard time. I love my children, but it has played havoc with my career. I just hope i can get my confidence back again.

good luck, and if the time is right for you go for it. xx

hi,
only you can answer that question as everyone's situation is different.
we had always planned on having 2 children as close together as possible. . . we started trying for our 2nd when DS was 6 months old, DD is now 2 months old and DS is 20 months old.
I thought it would be a lot harder than it has been, in fact I would go ass far as saying it has been quite easy . . although we dont have very helpful families I am very lucky to have a hands on OH (I of course do all the baby things cos I am breastfeeding but OH is very good at keeping DS happy).
do what ever you think is right!
take care
Lea xx

im jealous! i want another one but my partner thinks its too soon and says we need a bigger house first, i know hes right but it doesnt stop me wanting lol x

hi
it really is personal preference... no matter what the age gap or how many children everyone copes differently.. im almost 20 weeks now and my daughter is and half months when new baby comes there will be just 13 months between them i ddnt plan it to be quite so close but sam is a really good baby and is only a grum when shes tired... i cant wait for the new baby to come just its as good as sam..
good luck dont let anyone make your mind up for you xx

sam is 8 and half months
sorry missed that bit lol

hi...if you both want another baby then go for it,you might get caught pregnant straight away or it could take weeks... its something you may regret in the future...ime 27 weeks pregnant and have a little girl who is 13 months old i cant wait for my baby to be born ime breastfeeding my little girl so will be a really busy mum soon..i cant wait but its our personel choice,everybody is so different ...double feeding and nappies but the mornings in bed feeding and cuddling cant wait...xx

There is 16 months between my boys and I love it, the youngest will be 1 on the 2nd Feb. They play together all the time and love being with each other and I always manage to find the time for one on one time as well. I think it all depends on your ability to cope with a bit of chaos and organise yourself and your kids into a good routine. I have no alternative childcare/support available to me. My boys have to be with me or my partner at all times (That means me 95% of the time). I wont lie, it is very hard work at times but its lovely to be raising them together and I could happily have another straight away. I seem to be able to have a lovely time with my boys, do everything that needs doing at home, the heavy housework at my nanas, playgroup and have a bit of a social life without many problem. I will be going back to work 3 days per week next week. On the other hand I have a friend who has two the same age gap as mine and really struggles sometimes even though she has family who are willing baby sitters and dosnt work. It really does depend on you x

Hi I have an eight month old and have just found out I'm six weeks pregnant. I also have a nine year old. I'm really pleased and yes I'm sure It will be hard work but I'm really excited and am just planning to get with on with it and enjoy. It's up to you but I'm glad albeit it's admittedly a bit sooner than anticipated but hey ho... The show must go on..... All the best.x