Forum : Mums

Hiya,
I don't think there is a "minimum age limit" for a man to become a father!
My OH was 22 when we had our first LO (May 2010) and he LOVES doing all the "dad" things to the point where we argued when LO was a few months old because he wanted to give him a feed and do the night time duties but I was breastfeeding so it was impractical so we came up with a solution. . .when LO cried, OH would get him out of the cot and bring him to me, I would do the feed and then OH would burp him an d put him back LOL (I only let him do this 2 nights a week tho because i missed the cuddles!!)
We share all the "chores" . . nappy changes, dressing, feeding (although the majority of the time LO feeds himself now so it is a privilege if he lets you feed him!!), reading stories, playing games, when ever we can we bath him together etc etc . . .
I think everyone is different, some REALLY want to be a father and others find it hard to adjust.
I am now pregnant with number 2 and I can't see him being any different this time!
Maybe instead of giving him a job to do you should try and do it together because it just maybe that he isn't confident enough to do it by himself?
Take care
Lea xx

I don't think its an age thing either, just depends on the man in question! By any chance was he brought up in household where mum did everything hands on with kids and dad didn't? Maybe he thinks its the mums job to do everything.......As for him being too tired, how about you??????? Personally I would give him a big kick up the backside and tell him you've put up with his laziness with the kids for long enough and won't stand for it anymore, you could also point out that when the kids are older they will remember that he didn't spend any time with them, and that he is missing out on the precious early years which you can't ever get back again. Why don't you arrange a day out (or an afternoon if thats too much!) with a friend so he's thrown in at the deep end, he might even find he enjoys it :-))x

I agree, it's got nothing to do with age, it's about mental maturity, My first husband was 29 when we had our first child, followed by our 2nd a year later, and he did nothing and was not very involved with the children. My 2nd husband, however, was 20 when I met him and not only is he much more mature than my first husband, he took on my first two children (now 9&10) and has done so much for all of us, he spends time with them, helps them with homework, has chats with them after they have been told off and so much more, we now have his 2nd baby on the way (my 4th) and all of our children are treated equally by him and they all adore him. As for my 1st husband, he's now 39 and we are still waiting for him to step up and act like a father!

I have to agree with what's been said already. All men are different. I have to agree mostly with "did mum do everything?" I think that's the one that rings true mostly! Some blokes don't get involved until they can fully interact with the child which usually happens well into toddler hood. It doesn't help with being bombarded with pictures of cosy scenes of serenity and playfulness on ads and posters all the time. I pretty much have to look after everyone in every aspect. If it's getting you down, get some light relief from forums such as this. It get be extremely frustrating like your everyones mum and you get no time to yourself!

i feel like i cud of writen this post my self. my partner was 20 when i had my lil girl. he did nowt just because he was at work. it lasted a few weeks him doing nappies and he only got up to feeds first cupple nights but when he went back to work that was it. he wud go out all day on wkend as well. but to be fair he was braught up the exact same way. he is a lil better now, not much like he wants another one. i flat refuse he did nowt with the one he had never mind leaving me with two to deal with on my own