Forum : Mums

I guess he is detaching himself as he is remembering how he felt before and how his loss affected him. I'm sure he is over the moon, just apprehensive, keep talking to him and involving him with your pregnancy and when baby arrives safely he will hopefully be able to relax. Often with the loss of a child it's always the mum that gets support and the dad gets pushed to one side. Will he go for counselling or can you find a website where he can talk with anonymity to other dads who have experienced the same?

Oh bless him, its hard for the men, as the lady above said, they are often left out. Although everyone can understand that he is apprehensive, he is missing so much on his baby. Take him by the hand, sit him down and tell him that even though you dont know how he is feeling, that you want to know and help.
He needs to open up and share his fears, and feel the life thats waiting for him. Everyone worries about pregnancy and the birth, even if youve never lost one, and he needs to know its okay to feel that way, but at the same time you and the baby you share needs him.
Maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea to show him your post and what other people say. There have been some very touching stories on ladies who have lost deeply and had their little angels born sleeping. maybe it would help him to read how others have felt the same.
But you do need him honey, and you need to try and get this through, he will regret the lost bond between yourselves and the unborn baby later. Even if he is scared, he needs to be with you and your baby. It must feel awful for you, not knowing what to do, and if he felt left out and on his own, you need to remind him that you are feeling left out and alone right now.
Hope things work out for the both of you, and he will get involved soon.
Take care

thank you for getin in touch with me, i have shown him wat i have posted and wat coments i have recieved bk, he thinks it is a gd idea to talk to others in his position and tat it might help, its opened his eyes a little to how i really feel but he sed he is finding it hard, thank u for your comments and thoughts on this matter and i will take your addvise on board once again thank u

The loss of a child is soul destroying from a fathers point of view i felt like my whole life was over and would never again experience something so wonderfull as fatherhood 3 years later i now have 2 beautiful healthy boys to be thankfull for i will always remember our loss it takes a long time to adjust and even during my wifes two pregnancies was sacred so much of more loss that it shut my feelings off until they anti were born and safe in my arms your partner will likely feel something similar but this will probably change when baby has arrived it did for me and it was overwhelming wot i felt

i think his probaly more than intrested in whats happenin to your baby, truth is the way his acting is probaly a difence thing, every body worries about things but he went through alot truth is his not going to go through it again. Its defantly harder for men cause the changes arent happening to them but if u keep reasureing him and lettin him know that the baby and you are ok, just dont push him into anythin! when the baby is born he will see. If his still the same maybe he should go see a counciler? its nothing to be ashamed of at all its help for the both of you :) x
i hope everything goes well for you all x