Forum : Mums

My husband feels that he is really missing out because he works such long hours and our boys are only 2 and 6 months so they are both changing all the time. To make matters worse, he has 2 daughters from his first marriage who are only 9 and 5 who can only stay once or twice a week because of his long working hours and so he feels he is missing out twice. I involve him all I can, he helps bath them, and feed them, change their nappies, plays, reads, everything when he is at home but you can guarantee he will miss the important 'firsts'. I feel really bad about it, so I tell him everything thats happened throughout the day and I also look after his daughters and get them off to school some mornings so they can stay while he is working an he can see them in the evening before. But at the end of the day, we have to pay our way, and work is something that should be done if you are able and so we just put up with it. It would be nice if he could get a job with less hours but we couldnt afford all the bills that way.

my sons dad is missin out 2! he is in the army and only comes out when he can get a flight home as he is in germany! he is missing out on so much and josh doesnt really know who he is when he comes out. i feel like i should be doing something but it is so hard because i no there is nothing i can do.

hi there my eldest dad...she is 10 is in the army too...before he got posted to iraq she was only seeing him twice a year if she was lucky as he lives in germany...but his has a new wife and she has gone with him and they live just off base...it is confusing and at certain times especially with occations coming up it can be hard..the only thing i can suggest is what we were doing....cam link ups over the net and a phone call every week at least once..it does help and can help them connect a bit more...i know it is hard as i have the same sort of worries as you and that's with a 10 year old..but it can be done and it can help you feel closer to him for both of you...hope this helps
sarah xxx

hi i have the same problem as i have 2 boys age 3 and 5 mths and my partner is in the army and feels that he is missing out on loads he has not long come back from iraq and is soon to be going to afgan so he has not had much time at home and his base is due to move to germany in 2010.I find it hard as he feels so left out. But he and my 3yr old have a very close bond even tho he is always away

hi my husband gets really upset that he is missing out on our little girl growing up as he is in the army, she is 11 months and he missed her first word, when she first crawled and her first steps! unfortunatly there is nothing we can do about it, she also will not go to him or anywhere near him when he comes home after a stint away but we find that if he baths her and puts her to bed it helps him feel included and her get to know him again, i also try to go out (even if its for a couple of hours) on a weekend etc so that they can have their bonding time, hope this helps