Forum : Mums

hi sweet!! im 21 and my partener is now 27 i was 19 when i fell pregnant and 20 when i had here. my partener works away from hom mon-fri so i did everything round the house looked after our babby and was expecting help at the weeks ends but he used to come home from work and go on the computer and not help at all it got to the point where i was so mad and frustrated i started thinking about ending our relasionship which i didnt want! so i sat him down and told him exactly how i felt and from then on he comes home on a friday and does everything so i can relax. i no ur bf has a busy week but being a mother is the most hardest job in the world dont feel guilty about asking for help! x

im 19 and my partener is 27 i have a similar issue he works 9-5 6days a week and i understand he is tired but he just comes home and plays games i cant even walk in front of the tv with our daughter & he moans. im so worriedhe will just ignore her when im back at work on the evenings x
we sat down and had the conversation and now he iis doing little things to help out which has helped the relationship too x

Hi, don't wash his pants and when he runs out tell him you need more help round the house. Maybe then he will get the hint. X

hi i agree with alfie831, a relationship should be mutual n chores like house work and careing for ur daughter should be shared, dont ask him if he will do sumat tell him, or let him do all the chores that u do in a day n see how he finds it, he myt respect u and help out alot more, he is still young and men dont mature till later in life lol, have a word with his parents if he still wont listen he needs to understand that the resposibilties
u have are shared, being young and having to care for a child n do all the cleaning shopping ect is a life time job and very hard, i found it very hard wen i was a single mum so i no how it feels to also have a partner who wont take on responsibilties he now helps out loads more since i sat him down, good luck n hope all works out for u to x

my partner used to be like that and we have been together for 8 years and just found out i am pregnant with his forth child. He had just turned 21 when i met him and i had just turned 18, he was exactly like your man so eventually i couldnt take his laziness anymore and he moved out. It made a difference he loved me and wanted to do anything to make it work so he moved back in and started to help me with our little girl and around the house hardly played on the computer so when he did play on it it didnt bother me. If he loves you he will change. If it wasnt for my partner know i don't know what i'd do we have been through so much together in only 8 years and i nearly died when i gave birth to my last daughter 3 years ago. We did not plan to have another child so when found n since i am not sure what to do but my partner is hear for me what ever happens. Good luck

hi alfie is right, it works for me, i put a load of washing on and thats just mine and our sons, he'll come back a little later and ask why all his stuff is still in the basket. also remember that youve both just moved in together before his mum was doing everything for him. i tried acting like his mum worked, if he wants a mum he can have one. no sex etc.
do talk to him tho as i didnt and it got to a stage where i had packed all his bags and had a massive row as our son didnt see him much. i pointed out how when our little one woke durng the night he would call mummy, when he fell over he would walk past dad to get to me,etc it really upset him to think that HIS son didnt want to know him. he got a new job and earns more money with better hours. were now expecting our 2nd in 6 weeks. feel free to talk we were 19 too when our son was born.

jordz1801- Bless you hun, he sounds like a bit of a waste of time tbh!! as your son gets older he will get jealous because you'll have a bond with him and your bf won't. Just think that even though it is hard work looking after him by yourself you will never get this time back again, and when hes 2 or 3 and doesnt need constant attention i garentee you will miss him being a baby n getting constant cuddles and feel so proud that you raised your lil man.
Dont stay together for your baby though hun, if he grows up around him as role model he'l probs do just the same when hes older! there is no shame in being a single mum and you will find someone that loves u and ur lil boy. I say at least threaten to leave etc, i did, i had the keys to my new house for pretty much the same reasons as u n my bf begged me to come home with our son.. sinse then it hasnt all been smooth sailing but what relationship is? Hes done alot more for us both tho.
xxxxxx

OMG jordz1801 I completely agree with hope0811, why are you with this waste of space? What kind of dad won't even play with their son? One of the things I love most about my hubby is that he's such a good dad, to his 13 year old son and to our 23 month old son. I think you need to think about yourself and your son and definitely don't stay with him for the sake of the baby - it doesn't sound like your little one is benefiting from being with his dad anyway!
Can I ask if the baby was planned? And even if he wasn't he's had plenty of time to get his head around it, he's 23 not 12! I have a 22 year old nephew who became a dad at 21 unexpectedly and he's a great daddy, so age shouldn't matter. If he wants to be a good dad then he can be but it really doesn't sound like he's interested. Life is too short to be unhappy, you would be better off on your own - you are being a single mum already anyway - and eventually find someone who will love and care for you both xxx

Hmmm i know I'm miserable cos I have no friends and even when
I go to baby groups I still don't make friends and yeah he was planned but I didn't expect it to go this way mind u even all through he wasn't interested he never cared at my scans or got excited when he kicked like I did xxxx