Forum : Mums

Hi hun, i think men find it very hard when these things don't go to plan, we had problems as well, though were all fine now, i think they feel so useless, that it can really effect them tremendously, my hubby still gets upset if he talks about it and my lo is a year old, however he's fine unless he talks about it now, hopefully once your son is home and your normal life resumes your hubby will be able to get past it, i suppose you've got your son to focus on and to you he trauma is over but for him it sounds like he's still reliving it, give him plenty of hugs and reassureance and hopefully he'll come right in the end. Good luck hun and congratulations on the birth of your son xxx

hi im a full time dad what i mean bye that is i look after my daugther who is only seven weeks old iv had her since she was born the last time i was a dad was 20 years a go so i found it realy hard at first and still do at time's we had no problems but i feel over whelmed at times witch in turn makes me feel if im not up to the job I know in my heart that i can give my daugther every thing she need but i still get realy up set at time's there is nothing worse than in the middle of the night your tierd and for the life of you ! youv tried everything but for some reasons unknow to you the baby still wont stop crying its times like that you feel like pulling you hear out So I would say yes Men do get the baby bluses there are all sorts of resons they might be afected

Hi Hon, I think it is very hard for dads at first - my daughter is now 14 weeks and it took about 10 weeks for my hub to bond with her properly. Dads are told that they are supposed to support mum and baby for the first stage, look after the house, cook the meals etc etc and if there are problems it must effect them more. i think having the bump helps mums to prepare but it is all a bit of a shock for dads at first - your hub obviously cares a lot and is prob feeling emotional after the birth etc - im sure it will pass & you can enjoy your baby together.

I think men often get overlooked, everybody asks Mum how she's feeling and the majority of groups are set up for Mums. Men (though not all of them)! suffer from sleep deprivation too and they're no longer the centre of attention. It's important for Dads to feel important and needed. I guess your hubby also realises what a traumatic experience it was and how close he was to losing you both. Most men are rubbish at expressing their feelings, I think we expect them to repress them at a young age. Give him lots of reassurance that you're both okay, get him involved with bub and lots of cuddles. Glad you're both okay, enjoy your little boy. x