Forum : Mums

yes i agree,i bottle fed both of mine as i could not breastfeed i did try though,but i was given no help or support or advised about sterilising and making bottles up thank god for the info on the tin,i was bottle fed so when i had my first my mum came and sorted it all for me and made my first lot of milk but some women are on there own with no experience at all,i have never really thought about it but now you have mentioned it,it is a thaught,as i was given no advise about the different milks or how much and when,as i did not breastfeed when i had my youngest i was shown where the milk was kept and that was it,but it is a good point to make and yes you will get some different opinions i bet.

Hiya Truddles, I totally agree with you on this issue. I have 19week old twin boys and they were born premature so spent 3weeks in special care. I did try to breastfeed but as they were in special care for so long my milk supply did not establish enough to feed one let alone two! I bought an electric breastpump for ninety quid and tried my best to express milk for them every 3-4hrs but that coupled with trying to recover from a c-section, visiting them for several hours each day and preparing for xmas proved too much-much to the disgust of the special care nurses and my midwife!
We all know breast is best but more support and advide should be given to mothers who cannot or choose not to breastfeed. There are millions of babies that are bottle-fed that grow up to be healthy and strong.
That's why I'm writing an article for my final project of my journalism degree about this issue-and your thoughts on the subject would be greatly appreciated! If you could email me at zaria.welcome@sunderland.ac.uk or leave your email address so I could email you that would be great. I just read your post and this is exactly the kind of opinion and passion I have been looking for. Thanks.

Hello Zaria. I have sent you an email & would be more than happy to contribute to your degree project.

I totally agree. To be honest I was only going to feed my eldest the colostrum and then bottle feed but due to a very painfull c section that went wrong I never even managed that. Second time I toyed with the idea but fell and broke my arm and so couldnt even bottlefeed him for days, the midwives had to. I was lucky in that my husband has 2 children with his first wife and he knew exactly what to do and could show me and was very supportive. He was saddened that I never managed the colostrum with either of the boys but it wasnt my fault and he helped me lots with feeds etc.

I never had any advice before hand or after either baby was born. The only advice I got was when I transferred to the local midwife unit and a lovely midwife took me to the kitchen and showed me exactly what should be done. It was a shame we were rushed back into the horrible main hospital the next day.

Everyone knows breast is best but it isnt possible for every mother to do it and there should be more support for those who cant. It is also about what the mother feels comfortable with because it they dont feel comfortable about it in a society that look down on mothers who breastfeed in public (and who can blame mothers for feeling like that) then it wont work out anyway. So those who chose not to breastfeed should be given as much advice and support as anyone else.

i am glad there are other mums out there that are feeling this way about breast feeding. I am pregnant with my second baby. i breast fed my first child for a while and while i felt like it was the right thing to do, i seemed to be forever feeding my son and never got to eat or sleep much as he was constantly wanting to be fed. i ended up loosing lots of weight and my boobs were awful. I was also constantly worrying that he was not getting enough so eventually i switched to bottle feeding and felt much more relaxed. Now i am facing a problem with not wanting to breast feed my second baby when he/she is born. My midwife is already making me feel guilty for not wishing to breast feed again and i am worried that i will become depressed after the baby is born through the guilt i know i will feel. my friends who have children and did not breast feed have told me stories about how they were made to feel awful by the nurses and midwives for not doing so. one midwife even commented to my frien when she went to get milk from the maternity unit cupboard saying "tut tut! are you going in the naughty cupboard!" I don't want that kind of reaction when i go to get formula milk for my new baby!!!

Hi truddles, I know exactly what you mean, I had the same problem-flat nipples and never did get my baby boy to latch on at all. I had cup fed him formula milk while I carried on trying then I couldn't see any way I was going to feed my baby myself so I decided to bottle feed him. At the time I didn't feel the midwives were too judgemental but when I was asked what kind of formula I wanted, given a choice of 4 I didn't have a clue so I plucked one out of the air that I knew people had used. I know breast is best and I'm sure midwives have an opinion on formula but I was told they couldn't recommend a formula. I also wasn't prepared for bottle feeding at home but I knew they had changed the guidelines on making up bottles so I asked about this and I was given a leaflet from a midwife who came across as either frightened to tell me or had a fear of bottles!!!! I felt this was ridiculous because if you ask for the information surely they have a duty to give you it. The thing I can't get my head around is I know people who know midwives and lots of them bottle fed their babies so it cant be that they dont agree with it with the passion they would have you believe there must be some sort of higher force watching them like big brother. I also found that after a very long difficult labour and the inability to feed my baby myself I became very unhappy and had a an uncontent baby and it took me a while to bond with him. When I gave up breast feeding I also decided then that I wouldn't feel guilty about it and I never did, but a few weeks down the line when the health visitor got her PND questionnaire out a week early I decided it was time to have a word with myself and I've loved every minute of being a mummy since. I guess what I'm trying to say is that health professionals need to acknowledge what effect this perseverance with breast feeding can have on mummies mental health at a time when it is so important to feel close to your little one and be able to meet their needs.

Hey hun, I intnded to breast feed also and at the hospital, the midwives said that I was doing everything correctly, however by the time we got home my baby was screaming because he was so hungry. I felt like a complete failiure. My mum (luckily) had already seen this coming and she had already bought me some cow and gate and some bottles. As soon as I gave him a couple of ounce he was satisfide. I then decided that I would stick to formula. I felt that breastfeeding was actually doing more harm than good because he wasnt satisfide and having him scream for hours would be draining on all parts. When the hv came round I told her the situation and she looked so dissprovingly at me it was unreal!! She said I should continue to try, but I wasnt having any of it! My nan couldnt breastfeed my mum, my mum couldnt with me or my 3 sisters, so I guess its somthing to do with our genes. Recent studies show that breastfed babies are more intelligent, but I dont beleive it. Breastfeeding 50years ago was unheard of, and all midwives were told to recommend bottle feeding. Who knows what will happen in another 50 years time? breastfeeding maybe best for baby, but not always for mum.xxx

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I tried breastfeeding my 12 week old from birth but it just wasn't satisfying him. He was on the breast almost constantly and still hungry afterwards. My midwife was really supportive but wouldn't actually suggest putting him on to formula. Once I had decided to do it, she told me that she is not allowed to suggest bottle feeding and must always promote breast instead. But she did say that she was really pleased when I finally made the decision as I had been quite tearful and upset and tired before. I do think it is wrong that there is not enough information out there for moms who cannot breastfeed for what ever reason.

i too started bottle feeding for the same reason - small nipples. i came under pressure before baby arrived to breast feed from the mother in law, the midwifes etc. So when i went into hospital i made out a birth plan and one of the things that i wrote in bold was I WANT TO BOTTLE FEED AND I DONT WANT TO DISCUSS THE MATTER. No one mentioned it funny enough when i was in hospital. they finally got the message. lol I was bottle fed and i hardly ever get sick. maybe every couple of years i catch the flu or a cold but thats it. baby has been fed cow and gate premium from day one and is strong as an ox

Hi, I'm so glad I found this page. I'm expecting my 2nd child and have never wanted to breastfeed. I bottle fed my first child and was very naive expecting my choice to be accepted and that I would be treated the same as breast feeding mums. How wrong I was!!! The whole experience of being ignored in hospital and no one advising me on bottle feeding has left me very bitter. I have no time for the breast feeding fanatics who constantly trying to bully you and make you out to be a bad mother. I'd like to say I was able to make an informed choice about my feeding options, but this has been taken away by those determined that the only choice is breast feeding. As pointed out in previous posts, midwives aren't allowed to talk about bottle feeding and if you go to a website like cow & gate you have to read a disclaimer before being able to learn about the milks available. Ridiculous!!, I surprised the breast feeding contigent aren't trying to ban the sale of formula milk, therefore taking all out rights as individuals away.

You can see, I meant it when I said I'd been left very bitter. Now with my 2nd child things are even worse for bottle feeding mums and there is no support groups out there for us. I'm dreading the maternity unit so much I'm suffering panic attacks and have got a counsellor to try and help me through it. I'm just dreading the attitude I will get, being ignored while the breatfeeding mums get all the care and attention.

Unfortunately, I have to my baby on the delivery suite due to problems with my health, so I have no option but to be in hospital. I can only hope I can get out after 6 hours!

Just for the record, for me as long as the mother and baby are happy, it doesn't matter how you feed your baby.